Walking On Sunshine
by Clockwork's Apprentice
Summary: Now I'm walking on sunshine, I'm walking on sunshine. And it's starting to feel good…I used to love that song and now I find it a cruel irony. Either way, here I was in a new town, at a new high school and to make matters worse, there was a no way in heck that I can go up and down all those stairs with this wheelchair.
1. Prologue

**Author Note: Sorry, not sorry.  
~CWA  
Title: **Walking On Sunshine

**Summary: **_Now I'm walking on sunshine, I'm walking on sunshine. And it's starting to feel good…_I used to love that song and now I find it a cruel irony. Either way, here I was in a new town, at a new high school and to make matters worse, there was a no way in heck that I can go up and down all those stairs with this wheelchair.

**Genre: **Romance/Friendship

**Rated: **T**  
Disclaimer: **_I do not own nor claim My Candy Love. I do own OCs. _

**Prologue:**

**Cami:**

I never would have that that a simple little car crash would leave me here- being rushed to the surgery room with an oxygen mask on my face. I never would have thought that making the stupid decision to let that idiot that I called my brother drive me home from that party would end up like this. I didn't know that he had been drinking but I should have seen the signs…No, I saw the signs, but I chose to ignore the signs. I did notice the alcohol on his breath. I did notice the shaky hands and the droopy eyes. I chose to ignore it because I refused to believe that my older brother, who was also my guardian since he was legal, would drink after he swore not to. I also refused to believe that he would dare to pick me up when he was drunk.

I supposed that made it my fault. I was the one that got into a fight with my friend so late at night. I was the one that wanted to leave just that second so I decided to call him when Auntie didn't answer. I was the one that made him come pick me up at the unholy hour of one in the morning _on a Friday night._ I was the one to blame and I was sure that when this was over that I wouldn't forgive myself- if I even lived through it that was.

I kind of hoped that I didn't live through it. I mean, my brother was idiotic, but I loved him more than anything. He was gone already- I saw his dead body beside mine before the paramedics came. So who was I to live when he was already dead? Why should I live when it's my fault that he died?

At the same time, I hoped that I did live. I mean, I had other family members to worry about like Auntie- she was always there for my brother and me. I also had my friends to worry about like Haley or Dallas- granted one of them was the one that I was fighting with before. Still, if giving my life meant that my brother could live again, I would gladly give it up.

It was pretty quiet, quieter than I thought it would be. I mean, I supposed that part of the reason it was so quiet was because it seemed as if the only thing I could hear was the faint beeping of a monitor and my heart beep. I closed my eyes and I felt really tired. I couldn't really feel anything, maybe that was the shock- I heard one of the paramedics mention something about that. I supposed I felt really tired because of that stuff that was in that needle- that needle that they stuck in my arm. I would've chuckled if I wasn't too tired. Oh, I wouldn't chuckle because I found anything funny, I would chuckle because I was pretty dang sure that whatever was in that needle that drugs were involved. _Is this how it's going to end…and I'm going to be part-way high from the drugs that they gave me? That's a heck of a way to go that's for sure…_

"She's flat lining!"

The voices didn't sound real, they sounded echo-y like something I would hear on the movies. There was a shock on my chest and I arched slightly before falling again.

"Clear!"

There was another shock on my chest. They say that when you're dying, you see a bright light. So when I groggily opened my eyes in the room and saw the bright lights, you can imagine that my last conscious thought wasn't that it was the doctors. _I'm gonna die. This is it. I'm gonna go to the pearly gates…hopefully._

"We're losing her!"


	2. Adjusting

**Author Note: Please Review!  
~CWA**

**Chapter 1- Adjusting:**

**Cami:**

I screamed. Well, actually I shot up and _tried_ to scream but I found out that my throat was actually too sore to scream. I could feel that my whole body was shaking tremendously and I was honestly a bit freaked out.

"Whoa, easy there, it's alright. You're okay."

My eyes darted to the person who spoke. I was a bit disappointed that it was a nurse that was actually an elderly woman with kind blue eyes and silver hair and not a handsome man that had cheekbones so sharp that you could cut your hand touching them…. I take that back, I was more surprised that I was actually alive and the person that spoke wasn't a beautiful angel with wings and a halo to show me a tour of Heaven. _I wonder do angels actually have angel wings and halos? Do they show us around Heaven so we don't get lost or something?_

"Are you alright? Lay back down now, easy."

I allowed the nurse, whose nametag read Miss Ashen, gently push me back down onto the bed. I was sure that it was hard for her to keep a steady, gentle hand on my shoulder when I was shaking. As soon as I was leaning back against the hospital bed, she pressed the button that moved the back of it up so I was still sitting up.

"Can you hear me," she asked clearly and I was glad to know that the echo-y effect on voices decided to go away.

I slowly nodded my head,

"Y-yeah," I coughed.

"Oh you poor dear, here you are."

She handed me a cup of water and helped me drink it. I never thought that I would need help with that simple action- drinking. That went and showed that I felt pretty weak.

"Thank you," I whispered sincerely.

Miss Ashen, _or is that Nurse Ashen,_ looked at me with eyes filled with sorrow and pity.

"You're welcome, dear…the doctor will be in to see you now."

* * *

Five minutes. That was how much time it took for the doctor to explain everything- and by everything I meant my injuries that consisted of a lot of bruises, cuts, and stitches. Most of all, the most important injury was my legs… and how I couldn't move them. I clutched the blankets with my fists and my eyes were shut tightly. _Dang it all…it's over, it's all over…_It was hard to swallow, the thought that I would never walk again- I would never again dance, or run through the park, or play tag, or climb trees, or play basketball, or anything…. Well, technically they said that I _might_ be able to walk again in the future, but what were the odds of that happening? Slime to none so it was best for me to not get my hopes up.

How was I supposed to do anything? How was I supposed to get around- well a wheelchair obviously, but what if there wasn't a wheelchair accessible place? What about roller coasters? I loved roller coasters. Did they allow wheelchairs? What about school? Should I still go to school or could I just be home schooled? What about Auntie? _Oh my god, what about Auntie? Is she okay? _She should know about the accident, about me being in the hospital and about my brother's death. I wasn't sure, but if something happened to my brother, _don't I go into her custody?_ I mean, our parents…my parents… were already gone and my brother was my guardian, so shouldn't Auntie be my guardian? _I hope not. It's hard to wallow in self-pity and guilt when she's around._

"I…I will give you some time," the doctor said, his eyes saddened, "I'll send in your aunt."

I swallowed, knowing that I couldn't break down in front of her. There was no way that I could be deep in self-pity when she was near.

"…. Does she know," I whispered.

The doctor turned to me,

"Yes," he finally said, "She's aware of the paralysis and is aware of the situation…to which, I do give my condolences."

I nodded,

"Thank you… Send her in."

_Let's just hope I can keep it together. I can't break down in front of her. I gotta stay strong, if anything for her. She's the only family I have left and I won't let her suffer through any more deaths any time soon._ I didn't have to wait long until Auntie came in, not even saying hello before she hugged me tightly. She was careful to not touch my IV, but she wasn't going to let go of me without a crowbar. She was crying and it wasn't until I noticed that that I realized that I was crying too.

"Oh you poor d-dearie," Auntie cried, "Yo-you poor, poor dearie! I-I'm so sorry, I-I should've an-answered your call!"

_Answered my call? What is she- Oh. _I remembered what she was talking about. I tried to call her before I tried to call my brother. A sudden unknown feeling found itself in my heart. I hugged Auntie tight,

"Auntie, it's okay, I'm okay. It's not your fault."

_It's mine._

* * *

"Okay, easy now," Nurse Ashen said, "Careful, you don't want to over work yourself."

I gave her a look as I stopped rolling the wheelchair,

"Is it even possible to overwork myself while sitting?"

She laughed,

"Oh dear, it's quite possible."

I cracked a small smile. I found myself that I did rather like Nurse Ashen. She was very kind and gentle. She was also the nurse that helped take care of me while I was still in the hospital, after all I did have to get myself used to using a wheelchair. I could just have someone wheel me around most of the time, but that would be dull. I didn't mind pushing myself and I was determined to make it work. If anything, I would make it work for Auntie.

* * *

I was glad that Auntie and I finally got a chance to talk and everything. She caught me up to date with everything- by that I meant that she told me how she was my guardian now, that I would be living with her, and that Ryder's funeral would be sometime after I got out of the hospital. She was good at visiting a lot, well sort of visiting. She stayed there 24-7 unless she had to go do something. I was pretty sure that she was the sole reason that I wasn't neck-high in guilt and sadness.

"If you need anything, dearie, let me know," Auntie said in that chirper voice of hers, "I just have to get some clothes for you, love you!"

"Love you too Auntie," I said with a smile, "Oh, can you get some fast food on your way back?"

"What's the magic word~?"

"Lotion," I said without missing a beat.

Nurse Ashen, who was fixing to give me my medications, laughed. Auntie laughed as well,

"Oh you and your wit! The magic word is please, but okay! You want a milkshake with that?"

"As long as it has the whipped cream and cherry on top."

"Of course that's the best part, dearie!"

* * *

I hummed slightly as I worked on a song.

"Another song?"

I turned my head to see who spoke to me- it was Nurse Ashen. She took a seat next to me. I was glad that the hospital had a courtyard for recreational use. I was even happier that it was wheel chair assessable. So the second that Nurse Ashen had showed it to me, I made sure that I was always out there when I could be. I found it inspirational.

"Yeah," I smiled, "I find it calming."

Nurse Ashen smiled. She had found out that I wrote songs last week. I did admit to her that I played the keyboard so I loved composing songs. I wondered when I would be able to get out and be free to play the keyboard.

"Don't worry dear," she said, "you're set to be let out in a few days."

"Really," I asked surprised, "That's….awesome…"

_I just wish that my brother would be able to get out too._


	3. A New Life

**Chapter 2- A New Life:**

**Cami:**

I knew that I was crying and I was a bit upset for that. I didn't like crying, Ryder never cried. He was too strong to cry and I would be just like him. It was just a funeral, just a…stupid funeral. My lip quivered, _oh who am I kidding? It's not a stupid funeral. It's his funeral. _I was glad that the black veil hid my face and tears. That and I didn't want to stand out too much if my bright blue hair was in plain view. _Funny I think that the blue hair is what distracts people from the wheelchair and that's a good thing but honestly it's a bad thing at a funeral because the attention should be on my brother and not on me._

I stood in the shade of the nearby oak tree in my wheelchair. I held back the tears as the casket lowered into the ground. My eyes followed it and some part of me wished that it were I going down instead of him.

"It's not your fault, you know that right?"

I felt someone squeeze my shoulder and I looked up to see Dallas, one of my best friends. His black hair and dark brown eyes seemed to suit the black suit he was wearing. Dallas was a very good best friend and I was glad that I had him.

"Haley didn't come," Dallas continued, "she's torn up about it. I think she partly blames herself since she was the reason you wanted to leave the party in the first place and she thinks you're still mad at her."

"She shouldn't," I pointed out, "I mean…I don't blame her."

_If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. _Dallas shook his head,

"I know, but you should call her when you have the chance, ya know? And… I'm sorry that all this happened."

I looked up at him and for the first time I noticed that he was crying.

"I really am sorry," Dallas continued, "This… this is terrible! You shouldn't have to go through this and I'm so sorry…"

"It's okay," I whispered, "You don't have to apologize."

* * *

I did call Haley and it wasn't easy.

"H-Haley," I finally croaked out.

_"Cami, oh my god, Cami,"_ Haley cried, "_I'm so sorry! I'm sorry! I shouldn't have pushed you and I shouldn't have-"_

"It's okay," I said, biting my lip though she couldn't see me, "Really, it's okay."

No it actually wasn't. She tried to push me into have sex with a guy at the party and that led to a whole blowout. But for her sake- I would tell her it was okay. It honestly wasn't her fault, but she still shouldn't have pushed me either.

_"B-but it's my fault you left and now you can't walk and Ryder is d-dead!"_

"Haley," I snapped, "it's not your fault! Got it?"

I heard a slight chuckle,

_"I…Yes ma'am."_

I rolled my eyes,

"Look, I'm in Auntie's care now so that means that I have to go live with her."

"_She lives in a that town right? Sweet Pie? Sweet Love? Candy Love?"_

"Where in the world did you get Candy Love from? She's in Sweet Amoris."

I talked with Haley a bit more before finally hanging out. I did feel a bit better though knowing that now we were still best friends- and Dallas of course. Where would I be without my best friends? _A very dark place._

* * *

Saying goodbye to Haley and Dallas was pretty rough. Haley's blue eyes weren't as shiny as they usually were because of all her tears.

"Oh calm down," Dallas nudged her, "it's not like we won't see her ever again, right?"

"Right," I nodded, "I'll be sure to video call and message you guys as much as possible."

"You better," Haley said, wiping away the tears, "Otherwise I'll come back and break your arms."

She smiled slightly and playfully punched my arm.

"But of course," I replied.

"Seriously though," Haley said, "please… make sure you do talk to us a lot."

"I told I will, Haley," I said gently.

She gave me a large hug before backing away so that Dallas could do the same.

"Be careful," Dallas whispered in my ear before letting me go.

I nodded to them both and managed to wheel myself to the van. Auntie stood there waiting for me. She helped me up the ramp and into my spot in the van.

* * *

Finally, after an hour of watching _The Princess and The Frog _on _Netflix _VIA my cell phone_, _we finally arrived at Auntie's house. I carefully rolled myself down the ramp and into the house that, thankfully, had no steps of any sort.

"Do you need any help, dearie?"

"No, I'm fine Auntie, thank you."

After Auntie looked me over, she finally deemed it okay to leave me to do stuff myself. I was glad for that, I needed to do things on my own- I liked doing things on my own even if I wasn't quite used to using a wheelchair yet. I went to my new room and I was pleased that it was pretty cool. The floors weren't carpet; all of it was hardwood so that made things easier. My walls were painted light gray. I spotted a large bed against the west wall that was about a twin-sized bed with dark blue blankets and pillows. I saw a computer desk in the corner with my laptop on it. On the wall was shelves filled with books and music books. The stereo system was also on a shelf.

My face lit up in a large smile when I saw my keyboard against the wall. I didn't need a TV or anything of the sorts. I had my music and that made me happy.

* * *

That night, I logged onto the Chat Room that Haley, Dallas, and I used.

**_HellOnHeels has logged on._**

**_2Good4U: _**_You really need to change your name._

**_RockStarz: _**_She's right you know._

I rolled my eyes. _2Good4U _was Haley because of her ability to flirt with anything that walks while _RockStarz _was Dallas because he played guitar. He was actually pretty good. We almost started a band with me as the singer and keyboard, Haley as drums, and Dallas as the guitar. It didn't work out when we figured out that Haley's version of 'playing the drums' sounded… Well, it made your ears bleed to say the least.

**_HellOnHeels: _**_Oh yeah? And what do you think I should change it too._

**_2Good4U: _**_I don't know._

**_RockStarz: _**_I DO! Change it to HellOnWheels._

**_HellOnHeels: _**_….really?_

**_2Good4U: _**_Haha! Sorry Cam but Haha! What about RollingIntheDeep? You like the song!_

**_HellOnHeels: _**_I used to…. Are you guys really going to do this?_

**_RockStarz: _**_It's never too early to start with the wheelchair jokes._

**_HellOnHeels: _**_Touché._

**_HellOnHeels has changed username._**

**_HellOnWheels: _**_Better?_

**_RockStarz: _**_Very. _

**_HellOnWheels: _**_I have to get going. Talk 2 you guys later. K?_

**_HellOnWheels has logged off._**

After closing my laptop, I decided to take a shower and that was easier said than done. I refused to get help from Auntie and I had already told the hospital that I didn't need a nurse helping me around.

I carefully used the bar in the shower to get out of my wheelchair and into the chair that was in the shower. I was glad that Auntie switched out the showerheads so that it was one that I could hold and move around like a hose. I slipped slightly getting in and cursed under my breath,

"Damn my legs," I cried out, "Just damn it."

I had to wait a few minutes before continuing with getting into the shower. It took a lot of upper body strength but I managed. To think that I would have to do it everyday of my life made me groan- _exercise… _Then again since Auntie signed me up for school, I bet I would be getting more exercise in my upper arms from wheeling me around.I suspected that the school might assign someone to help me though- that was a bit of a bummer but then again, I did need someone to help me with my books and everything.


	4. First Day

**Chapter 3- First Day:**

**Cami:**

_"I'm walking on sunshine, whoa! I'm walking on sunshine, whoa! And boy it feels good!"_

I jolted at my alarm, which was set on radio. I groaned and rubbed my eyes. _Walking on sunshine_ continued to play and I sighed. I really used to love that song but now, it was kind of ironic. _Walking_ on sunshine, _walking… bah._

I yawned and rubbed my eyes. Then I decided that it was probably best to try and get ready. My wheelchair was beside my bed and I tried to steady myself to get into it. I hissed as it resulted in the wheelchair moving and me hitting the floor. Auntie rushed in,

"Oh dearie! I told you to not try to do that without me here with you!"

"I thought I would be able to do it," I mumbled. I didn't like asking for help either.

Auntie shook her head.

"Dearie…You have to be careful, you know that?"

I blew piece of blue hair out of my face,

"I know."

Auntie grabbed me from under the arms and hoisted me up into the wheelchair carefully.

"I'll get your clothes sweetie!"

"But Auntie," I protested and then stopped.

I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but her fashion sense was a bit too _sparkly_ for my tastes. For crying out loud the woman probably signed all my school papers with sparkling pink ink!

"Oh, don't you make that face," Auntie tsk'ed, "I'll have you know that I went and got all your clothes from the old house to bring them here! And I went and bought you some more clothes!"

I bit my lip. Honestly, I didn't like thinking about the old house, _my_ house- where Ryder and I lived. It was very small, a lot smaller than Auntie's. I loved that old, small house. Though Ryder and I hardly spent time there- most of the time I was sleeping at a friend's and when I wasn't at a friend's, I was at Auntie's. Ryder and I visited Auntie a lot since it only took an hour to get to her.

"You bought new clothes," I decided to ask.

"Yes," Auntie cheered and she went straight to my closet.

I loved that it was a wide, walk-in closet so in the future I could wheel myself into my closet to get clothes. I was also glad that underwear and everything else I would need to get was in a bottom shelf of the chest inside my closet. Though with Auntie in the closet, there wasn't enough room for me so I was stuck by the door to the closet waiting as Auntie was tossing clothes everywhere. I sighed, knowing that I would have to clean it up later.

"Don't you sigh at me! I'll clean it up while you're at school," Auntie said, "And here we here!"

She came out carrying an Empire Waist dress that was black with a purple gem in the middle of the chest and purple straps. I smiled,

"Okay," I agreed, "I like it."

"And it's short enough to not get in the way of your wheelchair," Auntie pointed out, "I figured that you would want to change yourself and I know that would be hard to do if I picked out pants for you so…. dress it is!"

I smiled; I was glad that she knew that I would want to get changed myself. I took the short dress out of her hands and placed it in my lap so that I could myself to the restroom. It took some work, but I did managed to get my pajama dress off of me and put the Empire dress on. After straightening the dress out the best I could, I looked in the mirror- the full length one that was on the door. After cringing at my appearance, I grabbed the brush and got to work on my blue hair. After that was done, I grabbed the eyeliner and looked in the full-length mirror to outline the top lid of my green eyes.

I put my pajama dress on my lap and got frustrated with the door since I couldn't really open it and wheel back so the door wouldn't hit me.

"AUNTIE I'M STUCK IN THE RESTROOM AGAIN!"

Unfortunately, the same thing had happened last night.

"COMING DEARIE! DON'T WORRY WHILE YOU'RE AT SCHOOL I'LL FIX EVERYTHING UP!"

"JUST COME AND GET ME NOW!"

"WHAT'S THE MAGIC WORD!"

"PLEASE!"

"NO IT'S LOTION BUT YOU'RE STUCK SO IT'LL DO!"

I heard her laughing even if she was in the other side of the house and I ended up chuckling. _That's Auntie for ya._

* * *

When we pulled up to the school, I made a face when I noticed that it was mostly _pink._ I guessed I would just suffer through it. I could almost hear Ryder's laughter, _"You're going to a pink school! Don't turn prep on me now!"_

I bit my lip and Auntie placed a hand on my shoulder,

"Don't worry, dearie, it'll be okay," she smiled, "I promise."

I had to believe her. I let her help me down the ramp and I even let her push me into the school. It was mostly for her sake- she wanted to make sure that I would be all right. Besides, I welcomed the break for my arms. I looked around and realized that we were early and I meant _early._ I had yet to see another student.

"Ah, you must be the new student."

I looked up to see a short woman with silver hair. She must have been the principle or something.

"Cami Fern," I introduced, shaking her hand, "Pleased to meet your acquaintance."

She shook my hand,

"I'm Miss Moody, the principle. I assume this is your mother?"

"Aunt," Auntie corrected with a smile,

"Call me Agatha," then she turned to me,

"Are you sure you'll be okay?"

I nodded,

"I'll be fine Auntie. Thanks."

Auntie said her goodbyes and left me with the principle- who smiled.

"I have your schedule here," she handed me a few pieces of paper, "and a map of the school. You'll need to see Nathaniel in the Student Council Room."

I looked at the map, trying to figure out everything, though a part of my dropped when I realized that there was a second story where some classes were held. _There's no way in heck I can survive all these stairs. _

"May I," the principle motioned to the back of my wheelchair.

I nodded, mostly so I could continue looking at my schedule. She pushed me as I read it, _okay so first is English, then music, and then algebra. Then I have lunch and a free period. Lastly I have Latin._

**Nathaniel:**

According to my records, there should be a new student today- Camellia Fern. I wondered when she would show up. The door opened and I turned with a smile. It was indeed the new student. She had bright blue hair, tanned skin, and bright green eyes. My smile faltered when I realized that she was in a wheelchair with a backpack attached to the back of it. _No, that shouldn't be a problem. _I continued to smile.

"You must be Camellia Fern, the new student. I'm Nathaniel, the Student Council President."

I leaned down slightly to shake her hand, and she shook mine with a smile,

"Pleased to meet you. Please call me Cami."

"Mr. Hall," Principle Moody said, "Please show Miss Fern to her classes today as an escort, of sorts. I'm sure you understand."

I saw Cami frown. It was obvious that she didn't like the idea of having an escort, or perhaps it was because she was in a wheelchair and didn't like the idea of someone helping her. Principle Moody smiled and left. Cami turned to me,

"You know you really don't have to show me around, I'll be fine on my own."

"Nonsense. You need some help at least, I mean because-"

She glared at me,

"Don't think for one second that just because I'm in a wheelchair that I'm different from any other student here, got it?"

I felt my face heat up in embarrassment,

"I didn't mean… I'm sorry."

Her face softened,

"It's alright…"

"Oh," I coughed nervously, "And uh… Welcome To Sweet Amoris High."


	5. The Brady Bunch

**Author Note: Please Review!  
~CWA**

**Chapter 4- The Brady Bunch:**

**Cami:**

Nathaniel wasn't that bad of a guy. I mean, he was all right even if he was a bit uptight. I knew that it was a slip of the tongue though and he didn't mean to offend me. That was the only reason I wasn't too angry. Still, I found it a bit rude. Then again, we all have moments where we were a bit rude, even me. _Huh. I can almost hear Ryder scoffing, "Some more than others, princess."_

I bit my lip again; I had to stop doing that. I had to stop imagining what Ryder would say if he were still here because he wasn't still here. It wasn't healthy. The sooner I came to terms that he was dead, the better off I would be.

"Are you alright," Nathaniel asked as he pushed me towards my first class.

"I'm fine, thank you."

Nathaniel didn't seem to really believe me, but he didn't press on the matter. He wheeled me to first period- which we actually had together so I supposed that made things a bit easier.

"If you don't mind me asking-"

"-How did I end up in the wheelchair," I finished. I knew eventually someone would ask.

"Yeah," Nathaniel admitted sheepishly, "If you don't want to talk about it it's fine."

"It's all right, I suppose. I was in a car accident."

"Ah."

I decided to keep it brief. In all honesty, it was more for my sake since I didn't really wish to talk about it. Though at the same time, I felt complied to give an explanation.

"Pardon," I said, "But I am capable of wheeling myself around."

"Right," Nathaniel said and I saw his face blushing slightly, "I'm sorry."

"It's all right," I smiled.

* * *

I introduced myself for the second time that day and already I was getting tired of it.

"-And please, call me Cami," I finished.

My music teacher smiled,

"Does anyone have any questions for Miss Camellia?"

"Cami," I corrected.

The teacher looked a bit sheepish,

"My apologies."

A few hands went up. I spotted Castiel in the back looking a bit curious. I met him in first hour- he was cool. I was forced to sit next to him last hour and he didn't seem to like me too much until I pointed out that I liked his Winged Skulls t-shirt. Then it was like a light bulb went off. He reminded me a lot of Ryder- the same stormy gray eyes, rough attitude, leather jacket, and an unhealthy love for rock. I bet fifty bucks that Castiel owns a motorcycle too._ I can practically hear my brother laughing, "Oh please princess, he's not some long lost twin of mine! He's not nearly as cool as me." _Oh and there came that hurtful feeling in my chest again. I really had to stop doing that.

"Why are you in a wheelchair?"

I gave the student that asked that a dry look,

"Besides I can sit around all day and spin in circles."

"Miss Camellia," the teacher gave me a stern look and I scowled slightly.

It wasn't like me to be that rude usually. Though I was just on edge- it got really annoying with people asking that question.

"A car accident," I finally answered, "I was in a car accident a while back."

"Do you play any instruments? Can you sing?"

"Keyboard," I answered, "And yes."

I was relieved when the teacher finally told me to sit down. After biting back some snappy comeback, I wheeled myself to the end of the bleachers- making me next to Castiel.

"Look at that," Castiel said, putting his arm on my head, "We're both sitting and I'm still taller."

"I'm not short, Red," I pointed out, "Fun sized."

"What's fun about being short?"

I cocked an eyebrow,

"Well for one, we're eye-level with it."

I could almost see the little _processing _symbol above Castiel's head before it clicked. He made a gruff noise that I thought was his chuckle.

"You're alright, princess," he smirked.

I bit my lip. _Princess, that's what Ryder called me. _

* * *

At lunch, I managed to wheel myself to the cafeteria- that was easier said then done in a crowd. I was just glad that Nathaniel wasn't still there- he was very hesitant but I managed to convince him that I would okay. He was the one that showed me to all my classes, granted that didn't mean he was in all my classes. So for music and a few others, he just led me to the door, apologized, wished me luck, and then headed to his class.

I couldn't find Castiel so I was a bit disappointed. The good thing was that I did manage to find Iris. Iris was very nice, I found myself liking her and Violette. I spotted her sitting with Violette and a white-haired girl. I wheeled myself over to the end of the table,

"Mind if I join you?"

"Cami," Iris greeted, "Of course you can! Cami, this is Rosayla. Rosayla this is Cami."

Rosayla smiled,

"You must be the new student! I love your dress! Your hair is nice!"

"Thank you, I like your hair as well," I complimented honestly.

"So Cami," Rosayla pondered, "Is that short of something? I mean, Cami isn't exactly a usual name."

"Like Rosayla is," I scoffed, "But you're right. Cami's short for Camellia."

"Oh but that's a really pretty name!"

"Thank you, but it's a bit of a mouthful for my tastes."

I took out my lunch from my backpack carefully. I set the brown lunch bad on the table and took out the sandwich, cookies, and water bottle.

"Want a cookie," I offered Iris, Violette, and Rosayla.

All of them nodded yes, though Violette wasn't as eager as the others because she was a bit shyer.

"I didn't know you baked," Iris asked.

"I don't, at least, not very well. Auntie made these."

"Tell her she's a good cook!"

"Yeah," Iris chimed, "These are really good."

"I will," I laughed, "but I hope all the compliments doesn't get to her head!"

"Weirdoes," a blonde scowled as she passed us.

"Well," I said as I turned to her and her pose, "You aren't exactly the Brandy Bunch, now are you?"

"Excuse you?!"

"You're excused," I waved it off, "so please, do leave."

It was very obvious to me that the girl was fuming in anger and embarrassment as she left. She seemed like a very rich, popular, queen bee- type girl, a type of girl that I wouldn't like very much.

"So who was that," I asked as I munched on my sandwich, "She didn't seem very nice."

"That was Amber," Iris answered and before I knew it, I was filled with a lot of gossip.

I wasn't kidding. In less then two minutes, Iris had filled me in on a lot of gossip. Amber had a crush on Castiel. Castiel and Nathaniel hated each other. Capucine was to be avoided because she repeated everything to Amber. Amber would do anything to make your life worse if you got on her bad side though she was immature. Amber hated it when people were around Nathaniel, who was her brother, or Castiel.

I didn't learn just about them though. Rosayla told me how her boyfriend was Leigh, the owner of the clothing shop- that apparently led to her promising to take me shopping some point. Rosayla also told me that Castiel and Lysander are best friends, Lysander loved to sing, and Castiel played guitar. I didn't find that information that useful because I wasn't even sure who Lysander was.

* * *

"Hey Princess!"

I stopped for a moment. _Ryder? No…that's Castiel. _Sure enough, Castiel did appear in front of me a moment later. He had a smirk on his face and his arms were crossed. It was after school and I was planning on going outside to see if Auntie had arrived yet. I couldn't wait to tell Auntie about my day at school, well not really, but Auntie would pressure me until I spilled every last detail. That would mean that I would have to tell her I joined basketball club. That wouldn't go over well with her. Though in my eyes it was the easier thing. I could've joined the gardening club, but that would be harder. Gardening requires being outside (in areas that are hard to wheel around) and there was no way that I could carry flowers around and wheel myself. Basketball would be a heck of a lot easier for me.

"Hey princess, wanna see something cool?"

"Depends. What is it?"

"The roof," Castiel answered, "Wanna go or not?"

"I appreciate the offer, Red, but roof's aren't exactly wheelchair friendly with that little thing called stairs."

Castiel's face reddened and it was obvious that he forgot.

"Honestly, I'm flattered that you forgot about it," I shrugged, "So thanks but no thanks."

With a shake of my head, I wheeled myself away. Well, I started to, but there's only how fast you can go in a wheelchair. Castiel caught up to me rather quickly.

"Look, I didn't mean-"

"-I know," I interrupted, "Really, it's fine."

"Whatever."

_In a way it was fine, but in another way it's not. I can hear Ryder now, "Is he a special kind of stupid to forget about that? Honestly, princess, and you thought him and I are alike." _There was a pain in my chest again, my heart. I bit my lip and I was sure that I would need chap stick soon from how often I kept biting them.

Castiel continued to follow me and eventually we were engaged in a conversation about music- rock music, guitars, what string brand is best, etc. I told him that I had a friend who played guitar and he told me that his friend Lysander sang. The only thing that I learned that actually had some point to it was that he wasn't in the cafeteria because he hated people in there so he ate in the courtyard.

"Gee, your such a gentleman," I rolled my eyes as Castiel started to push me.

"Shut up, it was obvious that your arms were starting to hurt."

I rubbed my arms, a bit sheepish that he noticed that.

"Can you open the door so I can wheel through," I asked as we reached the front door.

"What's the magic word?"

"Sex," I said without missing a beat.

I laughed at Castiel's expression. _Priceless! _His face was a bit red, but he huffed,

"That'll do it."

Castiel was a lot nicer than I would have thought at first. Then again, that might have been because he seemed to like my witty replies and me. _Yay I made a friend! _I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. _"Princess," Ryder would warn, "You gotta remember that he's like me." I can picture myself saying, "What's wrong with that?" "Because I know how a guy like him thinks and they only want one thing. So just be careful, Princess." _


	6. In The Life

**Author Note: A College of things that happen in a few weeks.**

**~CWA**

**Chapter 5- In The Life:**

**Cami:**

Two weeks at Sweet Amoris and there seemed to be a bit of a plan. I would wheel myself around school but Iris, Castiel, or Rosayla would be walking with me to open doors. Well, that was what friends were for though. Despite the fact that Amber gave me a hard time saying that I was apparently 'stealing everyone,' and 'just wanted attention.' Ryder would've wanted me to put her in her place, but I refused. I wouldn't stoop to her level despite the fact that she hated my guts because I hung out with Castiel a lot- and her brother at times. I usually ate with Rosayla, Iris, and Violette because it was easier to access. Once Nathaniel and Melody even joined us. They were pretty okay. I had lunch with Castiel in the courtyard once (it was hard for me to get to so I tried not to go there too often) and I finally met Lysander.

It turned out Lysander was in music class and Latin class. _Yeah that was awesome because then I had a name to go with that epic face. _I blushed slightly, _not what I meant. _He was a good friend since we both write songs. Though, he's a bit more into poetry.

I was glad that I had a lot of friends that didn't mind my handicap. I was sure that it bothered me more than it bothered them. After all, I even took a gray blanket and had it over my legs all the time. At least Auntie fixed a few things in the house so that it was easier for me. For example, there were buttons near my bedroom door, the front and back door, and restroom that I could press to open and close those doors.

"What are you smiling about, Shortcake," Castiel said as he came up and ruffled my hair.

I was short when I wasn't in a wheelchair, only standing at about 5 foot and 3 inches. Now that I was in a wheelchair, I looked even shorter. Then again it didn't help that most of friends were pretty tall- Lysander was about 5' 11", Castiel was 5' 10", Iris was 5' 6" and Rosayla was the same height as Iris. At least Violette was shorter, being about 5' 5". Still, I was shorter than her. I honestly didn't mind being short, but Castiel was milking it for all its worth- hence the nicknames like _'shortcake,' 'shortie,' 'lil' girl.' _Though Castiel's most used nickname was Shortcake and Princess.

"Eh," I protested, "I'm just thinking that it's nice that most people can look past the wheelchair and see the person, ya know?"

Lysander walked up to us,

"Pardon me, but you do have blue hair."

"He's got a point," Castiel pointed out, "Kinda hard to not see the person when you dye it that way."

"Says the guy with white hair and the guy with bright red hair."

"Who says I dye it," Castiel said with a smirk.

I gave him a look,

"That color is as natural as this color," I gestured towards my hair.

Castiel huffed and crossed his arms over his chest.

* * *

I logged onto the chat room.

**_HellOnWheels has logged on._**

**_RockStarz: _**_Hey Cam, what's the laziest part of the wheelchair?_

**_HellOnWheels: _**_Oh no…_

**_2Good4U: _**_What is it?_

**_HellOnWheels: _**_Don't encourage him._

**_RockStarz: _**_The wheels because they're always tired HAHA_

**_2Good4U: _**_Lol_

**_HellOnWheels: _**_You have got to be kidding me._

**_2Good4U: _**_Says the chick with that username._

**_HellOnWheels has changed username._**

**_StayinAlive: _**_Better?_

Honestly, I found my new username a bit more fitting. I was trying to stay alive. _"You have to, princess," Ryder would say, "for me." _

**_2Good4U: _**_t(-_-*) you took away my source of amusement._

**_RockStarz: _**_Hahaha_

**_PoetryInMotion has joined the chatroom. _**

**_FashionDiva has joined chatroom._**

**_RebelBoy has joined chatroom._**

**_RockStarz: _**_Uhh who are these guys?_

**_StayinAlive: _**_Oh hey guys! Glad you could join us. Don't worry, I invited them._

**_FashionDiva: _**_Cami?_

**_StayinAlive: _**_Yeah that's me._

**_2Good4U: _**_Srly who are they?_

**_RebelBoy: _**_Nonya business._

**_PoetryInMotion: _**_Castiel that was highly unnecessary._

**_FashionDiva: _**_Hi! I'm Rosayla._

**_StayinAlive: _**_So I take it that PoetryInMotion is Lysander and RebelBoy is Castiel. Cool, guys these are my two friends from back home- Haley and Dallas. Dallas is RockStarz and Haley is 2Good4U._

**_2Good4U: _**_You never told me you were going to invite some people who are probably gorgeous ;)_

**_FashionDiva: _**_I HAVE A BOYFRIEND_

**_2Good4U: _**_Like that stops me._

**_StayinAlive: _**_Good lord woman._

**_PoetryInMotion: _**_Camellia you have some rather interesting friends._

**_StayinAlive: _**_Yeah._

**_2Good4U: _**_Wait she actually told you her full name? She never tells her full name!_

**_StayinAlive: _**_XP_

After a bit more chatting, I finally logged off. I wondered if it was a good thing to invite Lysander, Castiel, and Rosayla into the chat. Some day, we'll have to do a group video chat instead of just messages. I just hoped that Haley wouldn't hit on Rosayla, Castiel, or Lysander. Then again, it was Haley so honestly I couldn't really stop her. _"That's Haley for you, remember when she hit on me even though I was like, what, twenty," Ryder would say. "You look younger," I would compliment. "Don't flatter me, Princess."_

Oh look, the pain in my chest was back again. _I have got to stop this isn't healthy, or sane. "Since when are you sane, Princess," Ryder would've scoffed. _

"Not real," I whispered, "Ryder's gone…"

I clenched my fists and closed my eyes.

_"I'm gone, Princess, but I'm still a part of you."_

"Not real," I whispered again, fighting the tears that were threatening to surface.

_"Princess, stop it. You're going to have an attack if you keep that up."_

Despite the fact the advice came from my deceased brother, I did take it. I took deep breaths and eventually calmed down.

* * *

Rosayla finally took me shopping to my horror. That woman could shop! Plus, it was hard to wheel around in the small clothing shop.

"I do apologize," Leigh said, "I didn't prepare-"

"-It's fine," I waved it off, "Honestly, though I do appreciate the apology."

"Very well, if you need help, do let me know."

Rosayla gave Leigh a quick peck before he disappeared in the back of the shop.

"Next time it's the mall," I pointed out, "It's easier than this place."

I wheeled towards her and got annoyed when I got stuck.

"Don't worry, bestie! I got you!"

Rosayla came around from the other side and grabbed the handles on my wheelchair. She wheeled me backwards and then forwards again, though she pushed me in a different direction.

"Thanks," I smiled slightly, "and… Bestie?"

"But of course, we are best friends, aren't we?"

"Yeah," I smiled.

I was glad that I had a best friend- one here in Amoris I meant since I did have Haley and Dallas back home. I wondered when they would even visit. Rosayla kept hanging me clothes as she wheeled me through the aisles and then finally she pushed me into the changing room.

She closed the door and I looked at her horrified,

"What are you doing? You can wait out there!"

"You need help getting dressed!"

"I can do fine on my own!"

"No you can't, bestie! You need help with the skirts and jeans!"

"I can do it just fine!"

"Don't you dare say that," Rosayla tsk'ed, "I have a cousin in a wheelchair and I know full well just how much you can do on your own!"

I faltered slightly, and at risk of offending Rosayla, I sucked up my pride and let her help me. I was more flustered and embarrassed than she was.

"Honestly, Rosayla, I can do it myself."

"And risk you hurting yourself, no way, no how…. and remind me to take your lingerie shopping sometime."

I felt my face heat up and I decided that it was probably best to shut up before I said something to make the situation even more embarrassing. Rosayla told me that if I closed my eyes it might help so I did. When I opened them, the gray blanket I used to cover my legs was on the floor and I was dressed in a black skirt with a blue blouse that had a black corset around my waist.

"A bit Victorian," I mused, "I like it."

"Thought you would," Rosayla cheered.

I wasn't sure how long I was in there with Rosayla, but it was long enough that I had ended up trying on about twenty different outfits.

"Oh hold on," Rosayla said as I heard the door chime to the store, "Be right back."

And thus, I was left alone in the changing room with the door opened while I was just in my underwear. _Great. I bet Ryder is up in heaven laughing his butt of right about now._

I managed to grab the small gray blanket and use that to cover my legs. I could hear Rosayla talking with Leigh though I didn't hear anyone else. Getting a bit impatient, I wheeled myself out of the changing room slightly. I didn't really think my plan through because it was hard to wheel around with all the clothes on the floor. My wheelchair wasn't very heavy duty so I just prayed that I wouldn't flip.

As soon as I made it out of the changing room, I got stuck on something. Frustrated, I tried to wheel harder, faster. In the end, it resulted with my wheelchair flipping over and me landing on the floor. _I brought this on myself. I shouldn't have jinxed it. _

It was then that Rosayla, Leigh, and Lysander rushed towards me. I was on the ground, my legs were just laying there, I have my elbows behind me, holding me up and my wheelchair was overturned beside me. Rosayla giggled, Leigh shook his head, and Lysander was so red that I thought for a brief moment that he might have a nosebleed. _Wait, Lysander? That's who entered the shop? You've got to be kidding me, he just saw me in my underwear._

**A Bit Later:**

**_2Good4U: _**_Oh la la~ HAHA _

**_RockStarz: _**_I would've killed him._

**_StayinAlive: _**_Shuddup. It's not funny. _

**_2Good4U: _**_Romance~ It is in the air (read in French accent pls XP)._

**_RockStarz: _**_You should've killed him._

**_StayinAlive: _**_I'm not going to kill him. It's my fault anyway._

**_FashionDiva has logged on._**

**_RockStarz: _**_HE SAW YOU IN YOUR UNDERWEAR THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH REASON TO KILL HIM!_

**_FashionDiva: _**_You're talking about Lys-baby aren't you?_

**_StayinAlive: _**_Yep._

**_2Good4U: _**_Romance! It's a brewin'. ~sigh_

**_FashionDiva: _**_Hehe, I agree._

**_StayinAlive: _**_Great, not you too._

**_FashionDiva: _**_Sorry Cam-baby, it's two against one!_

**_RockStarz: _**_TWO AGAINST TWO! SEEING HER IN HER UNDIES! NOT COOL!_

**_StayinAlive: _**_….anyway, promise 2 not tell Lys about this convo? _

**_2Good4U: _**_Awe, you're worried we'll tell your future bf that Dallas flipped and is jealous…_

**_RockStarz: _**_I didn't flip! I am perfectly calm! AND I'M NOT JEALOUS!_

**_FashionDiva: _**_'course that's why you're yelling._

**_RockStarz: _**_…_

**_StayinAlive: _**_Guys? Pls?_

They all promised to keep it secret. I didn't want Lysander knowing that I told them that it happened. When he logged on, he wouldn't see the convo unless he was there so… I was safe. I was sure that I was safe.

_"Princess, you're anythin' but safe," Ryder would say, "he saw you in your undies! I'll kill him." "Ryder," I would say, "He wouldn't stop apologizing. He's cool." Ryder would huff though…._

… And the pain was back again.


	7. Music Notes

**Author Note: The song is Mad World by Gary Jules (not the version by Tears For Fears because the way Gary Jules sings and plays it is closer to what Camellia would be playing).**

**~CWA**

**Chapter 6- Music Notes:**

**Lysander:**

I had to admit, I have known Camellia for only a few months and yet, I found her intriguing. She was very nice and polite, though at times a bit witty and snarky. She was beautiful, even with the blue hair. Then again, who was I to talk when my own hair was white with blackened tips? I briefly wondered what her natural color was.

I wouldn't stop apologizing to her for the incident that had happened last week. Even if it wasn't intended, it was a very ungentlemanly thing to do to see a woman underdressed. I would be lying, however, if I said that it wasn't… appealing.

Castiel seemed to like her as well, though their attraction was more of a sibling bond. Their friendship had grown and Castiel even admitted to me that Camellia had told him that he reminded her of her older brother. Though when asked about her brother, she would zone out. I found that interesting, maybe she lost her brother? What about her parents? I haven't heard her speak of them, only of her Auntie- who I didn't even know the real name of.

Rosayla did seem to like Camellia as well, but as friends of course. Rosayla often wheeled Camellia to the mall and to the clothing shop. At the memory of the clothing shop, my face reddened. I wouldn't stop apologizing to her about that- I found it rude and unlike a gentleman that such a thing had even happened. She had told me that it was alright.

I did find that our own friendship was growing. I only hoped that it could grow into something more. Sighing, I continued to work on my song.

"What are you working on?"

I looked up to see Camellia. She went over to be at the end of the bench. I raised an eyebrow,

"I see you upgraded your wheelchair."

"Yeah," she said with a slight blush, "Apparently the old one was just temporary until Auntie could pay the full price for this one. It's pretty sturdy."

She tapped the wheel to prove her point,

"So I doubt it will turn over."

"Indeed."

I blushed slightly though at the inference of the incident when her wheelchair did turn over.

"You didn't answer my question," she pointed out.

"I'm working on a song, would you like to see it?"

It was unusual for me to share unfinished works. Actually, it was rare for me to share even finished works with someone other than Castiel. Though, I knew that Camellia wrote songs herself. While Castiel knew guitar parts, he never really understood how to actually edit songs. Camellia was always good at helping me fix a few parts.

"This is pretty cool, Lysander," she said as she looked over it, "I honestly don't know what you can do to make it better."

"I'm flattered," I said sincerely, "Thank you."

Camellia blushed slightly,

"Well, ah you're welcome."

"You do compose songs as well," I pointed out, "I would love to hear them."

"Really," she looked surprised, "Ah okay. How about you and Cas come over to my aunt's after school?"

I had to admit that I was a bit intrigued to see her house. I knew that Rosayla had been to her house before, and maybe Castiel. If he did though, then I was unaware of it. Still, I hoped not. Even if I knew that Castiel had no romantic interest in her, I was displeased with the thought of any man at her house when they may be alone. With her disability, any man could take advantage of her.

"Are you okay, Lysander," Camellia asked, "You have that look on your face."

"I admit that I don't know what you are talking about."

"That look, you're looking at my wheelchair with the '_doesn't she know that something could happen easily'_ look," she pointed out, "Which, by the way, I find a bit insulting since I am perfectly capable of handling myself…. Don't give me that look, just because I'm in a wheelchair doesn't mean that I don't have means of protection."

I raised an eyebrow and she looked around before sighing,

"…. I have a knife," she admitted, "Hidden, of course, and just for protection!"

"Where would you keep it where no one would find it, Camellia, " I asked bewildered, granted Castiel kept a knife on him in his jacket.

Though Castiel always got caught so I doubted that she kept it in her backpack, jacket, or even her boot.

"Woman's secret," she said immediately, "And please, you don't have to use my full name. You can call me Cami, or Cam."

I choose my next words carefully,

"I find it a very beautiful name… Why would I want to shorten it?"

A faint blush was on her cheeks and she muttered something about 'gentlemen charm.' I looked at her amused that she blushed so easily. Though she looked very cute with a blush.

"Thanks," she finally said, "Eh, I think we should head to Latin now. Can you…."

Her question dangled in the air and I nodded,

"It would be an honor."

Camellia, while she could get to the courtyard easily enough, had troubles getting back to the school because it took a lot of her strength to get up and down the ramp. I noticed that someone usually pushed her at times to exit and enter the school in the mornings and after school was done- usually it was Rosayla, Castiel, or her even aunt (now her aunt was rather unique person herself).

Camellia still had a faint blush on her cheeks as I gently pushed her back to the school. As soon as we reached the doors, I let her go to open the door so she could wheel in herself.

"Thanks, Lysander."

"My pleasure."

* * *

"_All around me are familiar faces  
Worn out places, worn out faces  
Bright and early for the daily races  
Going nowhere, going nowhere…"_

Camellia started to play the keyboard as she sang softly. She had a very lovely voice and I was a bit surprised. Still, I shouldn't have expected anything less.

_"Their tears are filling up their glasses  
No expression, no expression  
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow  
No tomorrow, no tomorrow_

_And I find it kind of funny  
I find it kind of sad  
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had…"_

It was amazing that she sang so softly for the song, yet I could clearly hear the passion in her voice, that _drive. _It was, in a way, as if Camellia was singing the words she felt, but never could say. Then again, I supposed that was what music was for. Though it hurt to know if Camellia did feel that way. I was a bit saddened that Castiel wasn't able to come over to listen to her.

_"I find it hard to tell you,  
I find it hard to take  
When people run in circles it's a very, very  
Mad world, mad world…."_

Was that truly how she felt? If it was, then she was stronger than I originally thought- to stay strong in times of distress. Though I couldn't help but wonder why she would feel that way. I closed my eyes to listen to her voice as she sang. I stood behind her as she played with my hand on her shoulder.

_"Children waiting for the day they feel good  
Happy birthday, happy birthday  
And I feel the way that every child should  
Sit and listen, sit and listen…_

_Went to school and I was very nervous  
No one knew me, no one knew me  
Hello teacher tell me, what's my lesson?  
Look right through me, look right through me…."_

I was hypnotized by her voice. Even if she had an average voice (though she didn't since her voice was… beautiful to say the least), the passion she sang alone would make her stand out in a crowd so to speak.

_"And I find it kind of funny  
I find it kind of sad  
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had  
I find it hard to tell you,  
I find it hard to take  
When people run in circles it's a very, very  
Mad world, mad world, mad world  
Mad world mad world…"_

When she finally stopped, I opened my eyes.

"That was brilliant," I said honestly with a small sincere smile, "You truly do have a gift for singing as well."

She blushed slightly and tucked a piece of blue hair behind her ear.

"Oh that was fantastic dearie!"

I turned to see Camellia's aunt; I believed she had introduced herself as Agatha. I had met her when I got here and she was a very good person, if a bit eccentric. After cheering, her aunt finally calmed down. She smiled,

"Well, I just wanted to hear you dearie since you haven't played since the… _accident _when Ryder passed…he must be a very special boy," she winked, "I'll go leave you two be!"

Camellia's face turned red,

"Auntie!"

Though her aunt had disappeared with a laugh. I turned to Camellia and opened my mouth to speak, but she spoke before I could,

"You're curious about the accident."

I looked at her a bit sadly, it didn't take a genius to figure out the accident referred to her being in a wheelchair. Though, I did suppose it could be something else just as easily since Agatha had mentioned '_when Ryder passed,'_ and that made me have a few questions.

"You don't have to tell me if you wish not to," I finally said, "It's none of my business."

Camellia gave a small smile, but it didn't reach her eyes,

"You sure are something, Lysander. Just for that, I think I will tell you."

"Really, Camellia, it is alright if you don't want to-"

"-But I do want to," she said, "but you mustn't tell anyone, please?"

I nodded and she took a deep breath,

"My aunt was talking about the accident that made this happen," she gestured towards her wheelchair, "it was from a car accident and my brother…. My brother, Ryder… He was the one driving," Camellia took another shaky breath, "I… He was coming to pick me from a party and I didn't know that he was… He crashed into a trucker."

I looked at Camellia sadly as a few tears rolled down her cheeks,

"He didn't make it," she whispered, "I… I may write songs but I don't have the nerve to play anything or sing… it's all my fault! If I didn't call him then he wouldn't be out driving and I just-"

"Camellia," I said firmly.

She stopped and she looked at me with her teary green eyes.

"What happened wasn't your fault nor his," I said, "But what happened has happened."

I supposed that many would think it was Ryder's fault as he was probably intoxicated from the way Camellia was talking about it. Though I, on the other hand, wasn't most people. I may frown upon drinking and driving, but the loss of life can never be blamed on a person unless it was intended. At least, that was my thoughts on the subject.

"He wouldn't want you to be upset," I pointed out, "If he was your brother and obviously you two cared a great amount for each other. And he wouldn't want you to hide away your talent either," I referred to what her Auntie had said- that she hadn't played since the accident.

I was a bit surprised when I found myself giving Camellia a hug as she cried.

"Thank you, Lysander," she whispered into my ear, sending a small shiver down my spine, "It's nice to have a good friend like you."

_Friend, _I thought, _just that friends… but for how long?_


	8. The Sessions

**Chapter 7- The Sessions:**

**Cami (Camellia):**

I looked down at the ring on my finger. So far, people have yet to see it- that was a miracle when you had a friend like Rosayla. I pushed it up a bit using my thumb and pushed it back down while biting my lip. The ring was specially made… for my brother. The ring was pure black with an onyx stone in the center. On the inside it had an engraving that read _'The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had,' _lyrics from _Mad World. _Ryder loved that song.

_"'Cause it's true," Ryder has said to me before, "it's a mad world out there princess and sometimes the dreams in which we escape it our the best…" _

He usually said something after that, but I couldn't remember what. Either way, in the past I used to think that it wasn't true, but more recently I started to believe it more and more. That was a bit sad, but then again who could blame me? It was a terrible world out there, especially since the world took my brother away from me.

He told me that when he died, to toss the ring into the ocean. He said that it was for symbolism or something, that the ring was like his old spirit, the bad one so when he died, he wanted to make sure that his troubles were gone. In a way, he had said, it was something for him to get some inner peace from when he was dead. He had told me that so many times before. Right before he died, he placed the ring in my hands and said, "_Make sure to do it, Princess." _But I couldn't do it. I couldn't just go to the beach and toss the ring, not when there was so much left unsaid between me and him, not when it was the last thing he handed to me, not when I knew that the ring was his most prized possession- that said something since the guy owned an epic motorcycle that he called his baby.

_"You need to move on," Ryder would whisper._

I did need to move on, but it was hard. Dang it, it was hard!

"What right do I have to keep living when he's rotting six feet under," I whispered under my breath.

"Survivor's guilt is a perfectly normal thing to experience, Camellia."

I looked up at my therapist. Auntie had made me get one when she figured out that I was still having issues moving on. I didn't tell anyone that I saw a therapist along with my physical therapist to help with my arms and legs (well mostly just to make sure that I was doing okay in a wheelchair to keep my strength up). Miss Tasuke was very nice though, so I supposed it wasn't too bad to see her for my mental troubles. She was originally from Japan so whenever we were through with sessions, I usually asked about Japan since I found it pretty cool.

"I guess, and please call me Cami," I said, "Right before he died though… He told me to toss the ring…"

Ah yes, my therapist knew about the ring even when Auntie didn't.

"Perhaps when you do toss it, you'll finally be at peace," she suggested softly.

I shook my head,

"I can't just toss it… I… I c-can't. Maybe in the future, after I move on, but right now… I can't because this ring is the last thing I have of him and if I toss it, I'll be alone."

"You still have your aunt," Miss Tasuke said, "And friends, remember? The friends you told me about, Rosa, Castiel, Iris, Violette and all of them? You're not alone and you don't have to face this alone," she said gently.

"Rosayla," I corrected, "And my friends are awesome. Castiel's… well he's like a brother, which is hard since Ryder ju-just," I coughed and changed the subject, "And then there's Lysander."

I smiled faintly and Miss Tasuke smiled as well,

"Ah yes, Lysander. How do they make you feel, Camellia? Being with them? Hanging out with them?"

"Real," I answered honestly, "They make me feel like a real person, not just someone in a wheelchair with issues. Lysander though… he…"

"He what," Miss Tasuke asked soothingly, "It's okay to tell me."

"He makes me feel alive again more than music ever could."

* * *

Words couldn't even describe what I felt when Miss Tasuke had surprised me with a keyboard. She had already had one, in the back, and before I had arrived she had it placed in there so that I could play it for my session.

The keyboard looked brand new, a lot better than my old, battered up one back at Auntie's that had survived years of me playing it, dropping it, soda stains, and more. The keys on it beckoned to be played and I delicately laid my hands on it.

After I had played for Lysander, I felt as if a part of me was coming back and it begged to be free, like an old spark in my inspiration and love for playing and singing was coming back.

"Are you sure," I asked hesitantly and Miss Tasuke nodded her encouragement,

"Of course, letting your emotions out through safe outlets like music is healthy, and I think it'll do you some good."

I already have let out emotions in my music, a lot actually. Miss Tasuke knew that and I suspected that was why she was encouraging it so that I didn't reach a dark mental place. So taking a breath, I played a few keys for practice. I was amazed at the clear sound that flowed into the air. Within seconds, I was playing a song that had found its place into my mind a lot lately- besides _Mad World._

_"Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face  
You told me how proud you were but I walked away  
If only I knew what I know today  
Ooh ooh_…"

I noticed that Miss Tasuke's eyes had widened slightly and I was glad that she liked my singing voice. Still, I was more focused on my emotions and passions than I was on her reactions.

"_I would hold you in my arms  
I would take the pain away  
Thank you for all you've done  
Forgive all your mistakes._

_There's nothing I wouldn't do  
To hear your voice again.  
Sometimes I wanna call you but I know you won't be there_

_Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do  
And I've hurt myself by hurting you…"_

Miss Tasuke stood right beside me with a knowing expression on her face.

_Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit  
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss  
And it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this, ooh, whoa_

_Would you tell me I was wrong?  
Would you help me understand?  
Are you looking down upon me?  
Are you proud of who I am?_

_There's nothing I wouldn't do  
To have just one more chance  
To look into your eyes and see you looking back_

Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do  
And I've hurt myself, oh, oh, oh.  
  
_If I had just one more day  
I would tell you how much that I've missed you since you've been away_

_Oh, it's dangerous  
It's so out of line  
To try and turn back time_

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do  
And I've hurt myself by hurting you…."

As soon as I was done, Miss Tasuke smiled,

"That was wonderful, Cami."

"Thank you," I said modestly.

* * *

I wasn't stupid. I never told Miss Tasuke, or anyone for that matter, about the little voice in my head that was my deceased brother. It wasn't a big thing really and it wasn't insanity. I was sure that most of it was just guilt, I wasn't over his death yet so it was hard to accept that he was gone. As a result, I supposed that was why I often found myself thinking what he would do or say. I was doing it less and less lately though, so I was sure that was good. I did feel guilty though, did that mean that I was getting over his death? Did that mean that I was coming to peace to it? Was that even okay because it was my fault?

_"I'm just glad that you're getting better," Ryder would have said, though I wouldn't be paying attention unless he ruffled my hair, "Especially when he's around and-"_

"Camellia," Lysander greeted as he walked up to me.

Instantly, the thoughts of what Ryder would've said were gone. When Lysander was nearby, all thoughts of my past (which included Ryder) would just be gone and all that seemed to matter was the present.

"Lysander," I greeted with a smile.

"Have you seen my notebook?"

I held the said notebook up,

"You know," I said amused, "I should get a stamp card."

Lysander looked at me amused,

"Either way, thank you for finding it."

"No problem Lysander… as payment do you think you could-"

"-Of course, Camellia."

He started to push me back up the ramp to get inside the school. That was what I liked about Lysander- he helped me a lot when I needed it. I supposed Rosayla, Castiel, and even Iris did the same, but with Lysander something was different… I just wasn't entirely sure why.


	9. Blooming Love

**Author Note:**

**By the way, ****_The Fault In Our Stars _****isn't out yet but I have read the book so I am pretty sure that the movie will drain me of all possible tears. The movie will come out, however, June 7 (Where I'm at anyway). **

**~CWA**

**(P.S. Please review!)**

**Chapter 8- Blooming Love:**

**Camellia:**

I was a bit surprised when Rosayla told me that there were two new students.

"Really," I asked, "That's weird, you guys said that this school doesn't get that many new students."

"Exactly," Rosayla pointed out, "You were the first new student to actually come in the middle of the year in like _forever._ So this is pretty weird. They are guys though," she smiled, "Pretty cute too."

"Rosayla," I said dryly, "You have a boyfriend."

"I can look at the menu, I just can't order," she giggled, "And they can't compare to _my_ Leigh, of course…. But for a certain single _wheelchair bound_ girl I know…"

"Rosayla," I said, rubbing my temples, "I'm flattered but I sort of… already have my eye on someone."

I blushed slightly and she squealed,

"Oh I know! I was just teasing you and finally you admit it! I bet it's Lys-baby… or Castiel."

I grumbled under my breath as Rosayla went on and on about the boys. Once you got her started, it was very hard to get her to stop. Honestly, it was a bit amusing unless you were the one she was focused on about boys.

"… And did you know that Lys-baby even has a tattoo," she giggled, "but shh! I'm only telling you because I know about a _certain tattoo~."_

_How could she possibly know about my tattoo? What she did help me change a while back ago… but why didn't she say anything then? With Rosayla, who knows? _

I did have a tattoo. It was a small one though that I got a year or two ago. It was just a simple flower design as a tramp stamp on my lower back.

"Anyway," I said trying to change the subject, "I have something for you."

I got into my backpack and pulled out the white envelope with the name _Rosayla_ written in curly black ink.

"I decided to have a slumber party," I explained.

"Awe, thanks bestie," she hugged me.

"It was your idea," I pointed out, "Remember from yesterday?"

Yesterday she had told me that slumber parties would be fun for me to go to, what to do at slumber parties, and eventually told me that I needed to throw one in order to get some 'girl bonding time.'

"That didn't mean you had to invite me," she giggled, "So thanks!"

* * *

By the end of the day, I had yet to meet the new students. On a brighter note, I did talk to Lysander for a while. I may or may not have bugged him about the tattoo for a while until he finally showed me. He had pushed me into the locker rooms (literally because of my wheelchair) and lifted his shirt to show me his back that had a large tattoo of several wings together. I was so occupied with how beautiful the tattoo was that I didn't even blush that I was seeing him shirtless (well his back). _But gah, now that I realize it, I can't look at him without blushing. _I did show him my tattoo, an old picture of it that I had saved on my cell phone. He had blushed a bit, but told me that it was lovely as my name (that time I did blush).

I also had given out the rest of the invitations to the slumber party tonight to Iris, Melody, Violette and even Haley (well, I messaged her the details). I did have a small run-in with Amber but Castiel, who had threatened to hurt Amber if she hurt his 'sister', stopped that. _Ah must love my bro. _The pain in my chest returned, _"Sorry to burst your bubble Princess, but he's not really your bro, I am," Ryder would've scowled, "I mean, I'm all for you having guy friends and everything but I feel like my position is being threatened…"_

"Hey do you know where the council room is?"

In front of me was a guy with bright blue hair, pink eyes, flashy clothes, and a giant smile.

"Sure," I shrugged, "You must be the new student. I'm Camellia, please call me Cami or Cam."

"I'm Alexy," he said smiling as he shook my hand, "Thanks!"

I was a bit shocked when Alexy grabbed the handles of my wheelchair,

"So where to?"

"I can wheel myself," I pointed out with a sigh.

"Nonsense! You look really tired!"

Realizing that I probably wouldn't win the fight, I shook my head,

"Down the hall, to the left."

He started to push me in that direction.

"So why push me there if I gave you the directions," I asked, not that I really minded but I was interested in what his answer would be.

Alexy stopped for a moment and then he laughed,

"That's a good point! But I will anyway because it's nice talking to you!"

I looked at him amused,

"It's fine anyway. I have to go to the Student Council Room to talk to the president myself so…"

We walked/wheeled as Alexy talked on and on about various things- mostly fashion to which I had told him that I liked fashion as well. He was thrilled and then came the question that was really annoying to answer,

"So," Alexy said, "How did you end up in a wheelchair?"

"Car accident a while back ago."

"Oh."

He dropped the subject,

"Do you like shopping?"

"I suppose."

"Awesome! Here," he stopped wheeling me to reach into his pocket to get a piece of paper. He wrote something down and handed it to me,

"This is my number! Call me and we can go shopping some time this weekend!"

I was a bit surprised that he was so… open. I mean, hardly anyone would invite someone to go shopping with them so quick after meeting and that raised a few flags. Then again, Rosayla did the same thing and I accepted, so why would he be any different? Besides it wasn't like he would try anything with him being…

"This is it," I said suddenly.

Alexy stopped, let go of the handles, and opened the door so I could wheel in first.

"Ladies first," he said cheerfully.

"Alexy," someone said as we entered the council room.

Nathaniel was talking with a guy that I assumed was the other new student- he was the one that called Alexy's name. He had black hair and blue eyes and was pretty stylish. I looked at him and the back to Alexy.

"Twins," I finally said, "They're twins."

Both of them laughed,

"Well better twins than clones," the black-haired one said, "I'm Armin."

"Cami," I introduced and then turned to Nathaniel.

"Do you know where Lysander is," I asked.

"I believe he's in the science room."

My face fell,

"You mean the one _upstairs."_

"I'm sure he's moved by now," Nathaniel said hurriedly, "So he might be in the courtyard by now."

"I hope so," I scoffed, "Because there is no way that I can go up and down those stairs."

"You could get someone to carry you," Armin pointed out, "but who would want to do that?"

I glared slightly and Alexy nudged his brother,

"Not that you're heavy," Alexy said, "My twin is just really lazy!"

"Hey!"

"It's true."

"Doesn't mean it's okay to say it," Armin mumbled, "but _sorry."_

* * *

Thank the lucky stars above that I found Lysander in the courtyard because if he were still in the science room, I would've screamed from frustration. I decided that it wouldn't hurt to ask Lysander to come over again sometime during the weekend, after the slumber party, so we could go over songs.

"Hey Lysander," I greeted. He looked at me with relief.

"Hello Camellia, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

It was then that I noticed that there was a girl with him. She had blonde hair with some pink in it and was dressed in Victorian-like clothes like what Lysander or I would wear. I laughed in my head at the image of Lysander in a dress before I corrected myself; well, what Lysander would wear if he were a chick. Though I wasn't too worried since the girl was younger.

The girl glared at me, _I take it back I am very worried! "Oh come on," Ryder would've scoffed, "She's not that bad." _

"Ehh… I was wondering if you wanted to come over some time this weekend to go over songs?"

I refused to let myself be scared off by that girl. Lysander seemed to ignore the girl as he nodded at me,

"Of course, that sounds lovely."

I smiled,

"Awesome. See you then…"

Lysander reached for my handles, no doubt to probably help me back to the school, but the girl took them before he could,

"Oh I'll get it!"

_Weird then again maybe she's just trying to be helpful._ She smiled at Lysander,

"After all you shouldn't be troubled with some one like this!"

_And I take it back._ I scowled,

"Look, I'll get it myself somehow," I snapped, "But could you please let go of my wheelchair? I will not be pushed by someone who is so… distasteful."

The girl's eyes flashed in anger. Lysander quickly too her hands off of my wheelchair and pushed me away from her and to the school before a fight could break out. _Oh that would be something- a fight between her and I. _Then again, the girl didn't seem like the fighting type, just a die-hard fan of Lysander judging by the team Lysander charm I spotted on her purse.

"You have a fangirl," I teased at Lysander as soon as we were safe inside the building.

"Please, don't remind me."

* * *

"Wow that is a lot of cookies," Iris commented as I welcomed her inside.

"I know," I laughed, "Auntie just loves 'em! She puts a lot of sprinkles on them."

"Oh you mean you didn't cook them?"

"Are you kidding me," I laughed, "I always let Auntie cook the cookies! Especially if I want them to be edible."

Iris gave a small laugh,

"Sorry I came early, by the way. My dad had to drop me off before he went to work so…"

"It's fine," I waved it off, "The others will show up soon and this just means that you get first dibs on the food," I winked, "Auntie is… somewhere…I don't know where she disappears to half the time," I shrugged.

"Auntie? Your aunt? Isn't she the one with the pink hair?"

"I always thought it was more of a purple," I pondered, "but yeah, that's her."

"Yay! I get to meet one of your friends!"

I laughed at Iris's expression as Auntie engulfed her into a large hug.

"It's so good to meet you and I'm so glad that Cami is making friends! You can call me Agatha."

Auntie smiled and I finally took a deep breath so I could talk,

"Ah… Auntie, I think she needs to breathe…."

Auntie let go of Iris and Iris gave a small smile,

"It's nice to meet you as well…. I'm Iris."

Auntie giggled,

"Oh that's a wonderful name! I wonder if the others will get here early so I can meet them before I go!"

"You're leaving," Iris asked.

"Of course darling," Auntie laughed, "I trust you girls and I trust Cami! I'll be back later tonight around midnight but Cami ordered me to stay in my room," Auntie pouted.

"That's because you wanted to do all of our hair and makeup," I pointed out, "And that's a job that Rosayla specifically told me that she would have."

Auntie still pouted, but soon cheered up,

"Ah well, I better get going now! You girls have fun! Don't do anything I wouldn't do! No alcohol unless I'm home to control the intake and no boys unless you have protection!"

Auntie left as she laughed, which left me with a red face,

"AUNTIE!"

* * *

I can't describe how thankful I was to have a good best friend like Rosayla. I mean Haley was awesome too, but there was no way that she would help me change into my pajamas or into any clothes really. Still, I was glad that Haley could come to the slumber party so she finally got to meet Rosayla in person. I made it perfectly clear to Haley, however, to not hit on my friends since it might make them uncomfortable. I knew that Rosayla would be okay with it, but I knew that Melody most likely wouldn't be. Haley was cool though, she understood and even said that she didn't plan on hitting on anyone unless it was two-sided (I highly doubted that anyone would hit on her though).

Either way, Rosayla helped me get into my black nightgown that was similar to hers but instead of black and purple it was black and blue. She got a kick out of our similar tastes in fashion. By the time I can out, everyone else (who took turns changing in the bathroom) was also in their pajamas.

Now, we were all currently sitting in front of the TV watching _The Fault In Our Stars _crying our eyes out. Our hair was done really nicely with bows, curls, and everything in between (curtsey of Rosayla). We didn't dare do makeup yet since we planned on watching the movie. Melody, Iris, and Violette were on the floor with about a dozen pillows and blankets. Rosayla had helped me get situated on the couch with her and Haley. We also had about a million blankets and pillows.

Violette dropped her cookie in shock. She looked at me with wide, teary eyes as the credits rolled. Haley looked at me with the most horrified expression. I imagined that she was fighting the urge to hit me while going, "_I just cried my eyes out because of you!" _Rosayla was crying while clutching my arm.

"Shouldn't we put on another movie," Iris sniffled, "Hopefully a funny one?"

"Okay," I whispered.

We burst into hysteric crying again.

"That is not okay," Haley wailed.

Eventually, we calmed down enough that we weren't crying anymore and got over it- for the most part. I wasn't one for crying from a movie, but _dang it John Green first you make me cry with the book and now the movie. _

* * *

I let the girls know that we honestly could stay up as late as we wanted. I only made that clear since Melody was worried about keeping Auntie up. She stopped worrying when Auntie herself told Melody that she would be up the whole night anyway watching all her DVR episodes of _The Bachelor. _

"But how do you sleep like that," Melody gestured towards the wheelchair with an embarrassed expression. Honestly, I was used to the somewhat out-there dumb questions.

"In a bed, like a person," I scoffed, "I'm handicapped not an alien."

Haley, unluckily, was taking a drink at that moment so when she laughed, her drink spewed all over Iris. The soda pop covered Iris's nightshirt.

"I am so sorry," Haley said as she rapidly grabbed the nearest napkins and tried to dry Iris, "I am so sorry."

Haley's face, along with Iris's, was bright red. I laughed,

"That was the most creative way to cope a feel."

Instead of making a remark, Haley turned an even brighter shade of red and throw the bag of chips at me.

* * *

"So," Rosayla giggled, "What about you, Cami?"

"What about me?"

"Oh you know exactly what," Haley pointed out while eating a new bag of chips (since she had tossed the other ones), "Don't play coy with us."

"No, seriously," I said, "what about me?"

"Who do you like," Violette whispered, "I think that's what they're asking."

"Oh," I said, blushing slightly.

At three in the morning, Rosayla and Haley were interrogating me about my love life… That's new. Well, actually they were interrogating everyone about their love life. They got Melody to confess her crush on Nathaniel, Violette confessed that she liked Alexy, and Iris said that she didn't like anyone (which I knew that Haley was happy about).

"Fess up," Haley said tossing a chip at me, "we know you like a _certain guy~"_

"Okay," I said, managing to keep a straight face, I continued, "I… I do like Nathaniel."

Melody choked on her drink. I was glad that she didn't spew it out on Iris (who was the closest to her) because Iris had just got done changing her shirt, which she was borrowing from Haley. I was going to offer one of my shirts but Haley offered first. Knowing Haley, I should've known that she would have packed about a dozen extra shirts just for one night. As a result, Iris was wearing Haley's over-sized blue sweater that had extremely long sleeves and went off her shoulders. I could almost see the drool on the corner of Haley's mouth.

"W-wah? I m-mean," Melody stuttered, her face red, "I'm sorry, I th-thought-"

"I was kidding," I said, soothing Melody's nerves, "sorry. I like…Lysander," I admitted.

In a way, I wasn't just admitting it to them; I was admitting it to myself as well. I was a bit surprised that words even left my mouth so easily.

"I knew you were looking happier," Rosayla pondered.

"What?"

"Well, that's what happens when _love is blooming~," _she said dreamily as Iris and Haley joined her.

_Ah, for love to be blooming, it has to come from both sides and I'm pretty sure Lysander just thinks of me as a good friend._


	10. The Emotions That Lead Us

**Author Note: **

**I just realized that the last chapter was almost 3,000 words! Wow, sorry this chapter's not as long as that then. **

**The songs are Save Me From Myself by Christina Aguilera and Little Talks by Of Monsters & Men. I swore I wasn't going to do another song, but that was when I forgot I already had this chapter written up. Don't worry; it's not the full songs and after this- no more. Songs were just important for Camellia, and an important way for Lysander and Camellia to bond. Please review!**

**~CWA**

**(P.S. ****_This is Camellia, _****This is Lysander, ****_This is the both of them.)_**

**Chapter 9- The Emotions That Lead Us:**

**Cami (Camellia):**

On Saturday, after the girls left, I remembered that I had plans with Lysander (and Alexy I supposed) during the weekend. Rosayla didn't leave yet because she insisted on helping me get ready. Considering that I was still in PJs, the other girls were gone, and Auntie had already left for work, I didn't put up an argument.

She helped me change into a dark purple blouse that went off my shoulders and the neckline was outlined with light ruffles, a black corset-like thing to go around my waist and a black ruffled skirt. She decided to curl my hair and even put on some light makeup.

Honestly I wasn't sure why she was going through all the trouble to 'doll-me-up.' I knew that it was important to look my best no matter where I was going or I was with, but it was just Lysander and- _oh that sneaky girl._

She was out the door before I could comment on her sly plan. Though, she did give me a wink,

"And have fun with Lys-baby but not to much fun!"

She disappeared into a car and I shook my head, amused. Shortly after she left, Lysander showed up. He looked at me a bit surprised and with a light blush on his face,

"You looked very nice," he complimented and I smiled,

"Thanks, but it was mostly Rosayla."

He gave a small chuckle and I was surprised. He smiled often enough, but I never really heard him chuckle that much.

"Ah, come on in," I invited.

Lysander nodded and politely came inside. I was glad that I had time to clean up everything from the party except for the cookies and chips that were still at the table because I would never throw away good food.

Lysander spotted the cookies,

"I wasn't aware you bake?"

"I can cook, but I can't bake," I said, "Auntie made the cookies for a slumber party that I had the other night."

Lysander raised an eyebrow and I gave him a sheepish expression,

"It was also Rosayla's idea for the slumber party."

He had a look of realization.

"If you want a cookie though, help yourself."

"Thank you," he said politely as he snatched one from the plate.

* * *

I sang as I played on my new keyboard- a brand new one that Auntie had bought for me so the sound was so much clearer. Lysander stood right behind me with a hand on my shoulder, listening.

_"… And when I'm about to fall  
Somehow you're always waiting, your open arms to catch me,  
You're gonna save me from myself, from myself, yes…."_

I closed my eyes for a brief moment as I thought of Lysander.

_"…Well, tomorrow may be shaky but you never turn away…"_

I hoped that he never turned away.

_"Don't ask me why I'm crying  
'Cause when I start to crumble, you know how to keep me smiling  
You always save me from myself, from myself, myself  
You're gonna save me from myself…"_

I finished with a smile. I loved that song, though it was always my emotions that led me in my singing. Singing that song, I found a bit of release.

"That was excellent as usual," Lysander complimented as I put his notebook on the stand to get ready for his turn.

"Thank you, Lysander, and now it's your turn to amaze me," I winked, though I have heard him sing before it was always so… smooth.

Lysander smiled and I was sure I saw a faint blush but I wasn't too sure. After all, why would he blush? Me, I would understand because he made me all tingly on the inside. He looked at the page that the notebook was opened at. He flipped a few more papers.

"Might I be so bold to suggest a duet?"

"…. Okay," I agreed with a slight blush.

I looked at the papers and after looking through it a few times and humming, I was sure I could do it. I started to play.

_"I don't like walking around this old and empty house.  
_So hold my hand, I'll walk with you my dear."

I was amazed at hearing his voice just inches from my ear, so smooth, so…lovely. I shivered slightly.

_"The stairs creak as I sleep,_  
_it's keeping me awake_

It's the house telling you to close your eyes

_Some days I can't even trust myself._

It's killing me to see you this way…_._

_…There's an old voice in my head_  
_that's holding me back_

Well tell her that I miss our little talks…_."_

I wasn't too sure what the song was about, but it sounded like a song that an old couple would sing because everything was growing apart so they clung to each other for comfort and should be together till death. I blushed slightly.  


The music was picking up a bit. I wondered if I was wrong about the song meaning because in a way it almost sounded like the man had passed and just continued to watch over the love of his life. The blush returned to my face since it was Lysander and I singing.

_"…Though the truth may vary  
this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore…"_

By the end, I was a bit out of breath and I looked over to Lysander. He was calm as usual, but he was smiling. Not just the small smile he usually did, but almost a _grin. _I felt a bit of a flutter in my chest. I wondered if since emotions led me in my singing, _what emotion was leading me in that song?_

"That was very lovely," Lysander complimented.

I blushed,

"Thank you, you were very good as well."

* * *

Lysander stayed over for a bit longer. We hung out mostly in my room (_"Woah that can be taken a lot of ways, Princess"). _We spent that time mostly discussing music and such. Then he saw the paper.

"May I ask what this is," Lysander asked with a raised eyebrow.

It took me a minute that he was talking about the paper that Alexy had given to me that had his cell number on it.

"Alexy gave me his number so we could go shopping later today," I smiled, "That was nice of him."

Lysander didn't look that pleased and he even had a small frown on his face.

"Alexy, isn't that the new student? The one with the black hair?"

"Your memory betrays you yet again," I said amused, "He has blue hair. The one you're think of is his twin, Armin," I scowled slightly at the mention of Armin.

Lysander's frown deepened and I looked at him concerned,

"Are you alright, Lysander?"

"I'm fine," he said though he didn't look fine.

Then it was like a light bulb went off in his head.

"If it is all right, may I join you and Alexy? After all, it's not as if it's a _date,"_ he frowned, "But it is none of business so I would understand if you said no."

I looked at him confused,

"No it's fine, I think?"

"Very well," Lysander smiled and he bowed.

He surprised me by kissing my hand,

"I bid you farewell. Please let me know when it's time to depart for the mall."

He smirked and then left. I watched him leave confused, _what got into him?_


	11. Jealous Streak

**Chapter 10- Jealous Streak:**

**Cami (Camellia):**

Alexy didn't mind that Lysander had joined us. He was actually thrilled though I guess he would be since he was gay. Honestly, I was a bit surprised that Violette admitted to liking him. Did that mean that it wasn't as obvious to the others? Did Lysander even realize it? Probably not since he's a bit clueless. Ah well. It was nice to have a guy to shop with and know that he wouldn't stare or ogle. I mean, I knew Lysander wouldn't stare or ogle, but I couldn't go shopping with him by myself because 1. He was my crush so I would be a blushing mess the whole time and 2. I would need someone to help me change into clothes and I do have _some_ boundaries. Alexy, though, was like a male version Rosayla that had a flashier sense of style. Heck, he even offered to help me to help get changed into the clothes. I mean, I wasn't entirely comfortable with a guy helping me, but with Alexy being… Well Alexy, I was okay with it.

I just couldn't figure out why Lysander was being so… non-Lysander. He kept glaring at the oblivious Alexy, flattering me constantly (_I'm not going to really complain about that), _and acting all tense. It was a bit off-putting.

"… And these," Alexy finished as he added even more clothes to the already large growing pile on my lap.

Lysander looked over the clothes and shook his head,

"No, no that wouldn't do. She's more suited for something like this," he pulled out a short Victorian-inspired dressed.

"Well yeah," Alexy shrugged, "but she is always wearing something Victorian-like so it's time to mix it up!"

"Perhaps she wouldn't like to try something new. Maybe she would wish to dress a way that she is familiar with and not a way someone is forcing her."

By now, Lysander and Alexy were eye-to-eye in what I could best describe as a manly fashion-diva showdown. An image of Lysander and Alexy in a boxing ring using clothes as weapons entered my head; I was on the sidelines holding up the round signs. It took a lot to not burst out into laughter.

Lysander and Alexy were still in a stare-off, though Lysander seemed more angered and tense than Alexy (who seemed to find it fun and amusing). I wasn't entirely sure what the two were head butting about, but it was a bit amusing.

"Girls, you're both pretty," I said wheeling myself between them, "and I think I can decide myself as to what to wear."

"Then whose do you like best," Alexy asked cheerfully.

Lysander glared at Alexy. If Lysander were interested in me (and he wasn't), then I would've said he was acting like a jealous boyfriend but that didn't make sense since 1. Lysander and I weren't together and 2. Alexy was gay. _Then again, like I said, Lysander might not realize that he's gay but that still wouldn't make sense why he's being so… well, possessive I guess. It's not like he likes me. I wish, but wishes don't exactly come true. _

"Both of you make fair points," I said carefully since I didn't want to hurt either of their feelings, "I should wear something that I like and I shouldn't dress a certain way that someone forces me too, _however, _I would like to try something new. Nothing _too_ different, of course."

I could almost see their egos grow in size and I looked at them amused,

"Anyway, Alexy I don't think I can try on all these clothes."

"Nonsense," he brushed it off, "with my help I can get you in and out of the clothes in a jiffy!"

I jumped when Lysander's face grew dark and he… If didn't know better, I would have said that he _growled._

"You will do nothing of the sorts," Lysander protested.

Alexy laughed,

"Honestly, it's not a problem!"

"For you," Lysander muttered darkly.

I put my hand on Lysander's arm in a gesture to try and calm him down,

"Lysander, are you okay?"

He didn't answer me.

"Lysander," I asked again, "are you alright?"

"Perhaps it wasn't the best idea to join."

I looked at him a bit hurt. Honestly, I was enjoying myself, wasn't he enjoying it too? I guessed not.

"Lysander, I… I like you being here," I admitted with a slight blush, "I'm glad that you asked to join, honestly… I'm having a great time."

I was hoping that if I said that then he wouldn't want to leave. He looked at me a bit shocked,

"But he wishes to help you change?!"

"Lysander," I giggled, "Do you honestly think he'll try something? Just look at him."

We both glanced at Alexy, who was divulged in a large pile of clothes trying to find something for me.

"You never know."

"I do still have my knife," I pointed out, "if that worries you that much and I'd rather it be him than you considering that Alexy's… well…"

Lysander raised an eyebrow and I continued,

"Ya know, not interested," I finished lamely.

"Not interested," Lysander scoffed, "Camellia, may I be so bold to say that he is since he is offering to take you shopping _and_ help you get dressed? He also gave you his number."

_Oh my god Lysander honestly doesn't know. _I giggled,

"Lysander… Alexy prefers someone a bit more… masculine."

Realization dawned on Lysander's face and I laughed as he blushed slightly,

"Then I suppose I made a bit of a fool of myself. For that I apologize."

"Why," I asked a bit confused, "I don't see how you made a fool of yourself. I mean, you acted like any great friend would that cares, so I appreciate that, honestly."

"Great friend," Lysander repeated softly.

"Well, yeah, it's not like you would ever care about me as anything more," I whispered to myself.

As soon as I realized that I said that out loud, I blushed bright red and wheeled over to Alexy before Lysander could say something.

* * *

**_2Good4U: _**_Wow, you are really clueless._

**_RockStarz: _**_She's right, ya know?_

**_FashionDiva: _**_~Hehe _

**_RebelBoy: _**_Wow. _

**_StayinAlive: _**_I feel like I'm missing something here? What do you guys mean?_

**_RebelBoy: _**_Shortcake, you're more innocent than I thought and that was pretty damn innocent._

**_2Good4U: _**_Hey no cursing!_

**_RockStarz: _**_Don't act like you don't curse Haley!_

**_FashionDiva: _**_I just find it funny that Lys-baby has quite the jealous streak~_

**_StayinAlive: _**_I thought he was acting a bit jealous, but why would he be jealous?_

I scratched my head in confusion, not sure what was going on. I had just told them what happened at the mall earlier today.

**_RebelBoy: _**_I said it once I'll say it again. Wow._

**_StayinAlive: _**_Well I have no idea what's going on, so let's move on, shall we? Haley, any news?_

**_2Good4U: _**_Nope no news, all good._

**_StayinAlive: _**_Seriously? You always have news._

**_2Good4U: _**_No. Nope. None. Notta._

**_RockStarz: _**_Well I am officially suspicious, Hal, what's the news you're trying (and failing) to keep from us?_

**_2Good4U: _**_….._

**_FashionDiva: _**_Oh this is gonna be good! Spill it!_

**_2Good4U: _**_Remember Iris?_

**_RockStarz: _**_No. _

**_StayinAlive: _**_She's a girl that Haley met at my slumber party._

**_RebelBoy: _**_You have a slumber party with a lot of chicks and didn't invite me, Princess? I'm insulted._

**_StayinAlive: _**_:P Anyway, continue Haley._

**_2Good4U: _**_Well, we've been talking a lot and stayed in touch…. and I may or may not have asked her out._

**_FashionDiva: _**_Awe! That's sweet!_

**_RebelBoy: _**_That's hot._

**_StayinAlive: _**_That's awesome Haley!_

I did feel really happy for Haley. I was glad that she found someone, even if she was a flirt, she hardly ever actually settled down- most of the time it was one-night stands. So if she asked Iris out, and didn't dump her after the first kiss or group session, then she was serious.

**_StayinAlive: _**_Well I better hit the sack. Hope everything works out Haley! Night._

**_StayinAlive has logged off._**

As I carefully got into bed, I realized that it has been awhile since Lysander had logged onto the chatroom. _Weird, maybe Haley scared him off._ Then I relaxed when I realized that Rosayla had told me a few days ago that Lysander had gotten computer privileges taken away since Leigh had found out that he saw me in my underwear. I felt really bad for that he got in trouble for that though and I tried to talk to Leigh about it to get the punishment lifted.

_"Speaking of Lysander, Princesss," Ryder would have said, "he's a nice guy. You should go for it."_

_Maybe I will… _


	12. A Bro Like No Other

**Chapter 11- A Bro Like No Other:**

**Cami (Camellia):**

Castiel started to make clucking noises at me and other chicken noises.

"Shut up," I said teasingly as I tossed a chip at him. He caught the chip in his mouth easily,

"Thanks, shortcake."

I pouted, how did he even do that?

"No fair."

Castiel chuckled slightly,

"But seriously, princess, you asked him _that?"_

"I panicked," I defended myself, sticking out my tongue at him slightly.

"_Lysander,"_ Castiel said, mocking my voice, "_Would you like to, I mean… are you going to…. Finish that sandwich?"_

In my defense, it wasn't easy easing Lysander if he was going to go that amusement park next week. Lysander was amazing. His voice was so smooth, so… beautiful. He never judged people and was very kind and easy-going at times. He was quiet, but not around me. So, I chickened out after I promised I wouldn't. I huffed,

"What kind of brother are you?"

"The best kind," Castiel said taking another chip out of _my_ chip bag, "Seriously though, princess, get your nerve up."

"Uh-huh and let him turn me down? No thanks."

"He won't turn you down," Castiel said seriously, "I know Lysander and you don't know the things he says about you."

"Well if someone told me," I said sweetly, "Then I would…"

"That goes against the guy code," Castiel pointed out, "What Lys says to me about chicks stays between Lys and me."

I just rolled my eyes. Castiel and I were currently in my bedroom since I was showing him some songs. Then eventually it turned into a 'sibling bonding talk.' Castiel was comfortably sitting on my bed though he kept leaning to where I was to steal _my_ chips despite the fact that he had his own bag right next to him. _"Hit him," Ryder would've suggested, "sock it to him!"_

"Seriously though," Castiel said, "everyone can tell that Lys has the hots for you and he obviously cares about you."

_"_Yeah right," I scoffed.

"Seriously, Princess, he does like you! He doesn't even show his uncompleted songs _to me_."

"That's because I write songs too," I pointed out, "not because Lysander likes me, well anymore than a friend."

"But you do like him more than a friend," Castiel replied, "so go out there, ask Lys out, before I do it for you."

"You wouldn't," I said horrified.

"Try me."

* * *

Castiel was the one that helped me that day, mostly because I decided to eat lunch with him that day. He sat on the bench, opposed to where he normally sat which was under the tree, and I sat in my wheelchair at the end of the bench. I didn't usually eat lunch outside, but I have been doing it more and more often, mostly because I was getting used to the ramp.

"You have to ask him," Castiel pointed out as he ate a nasty fast food burger.

It wasn't that I didn't like fast food, but I did. It was just that Castiel had so much sauce, gunk, lettuce, tomatoes, and many other things on it that I wasn't even sure it was still a hamburger. I took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich,

"I know, but it's hard."

"Life's hard, Princess."

"Well, what you do then, oh great Castiel," I asked sarcastically, "if you were a guy that wanted to get with a girl and you couldn't ask her out-"

"-Ah there's the problem, I never chicken out and the girl always says yes."

"You mean girls are actually interested in you?"

"There's a line of 'em," Castiel replied.

I laughed and tossed a chip at him,

"Oh how could I forget, oh great stud."

"I'm legendary," Castiel bragged and I rolled my eyes with a smile.

"Pardon me," Lysander said as he walked up, "Might I join you?"

"No law says you can't," Castiel huffed.

Lysander sat down beside Castiel and Castiel gave me a sly look,

"You know what, I think I'm done eating. See ya later, shortcake, Lys."

I turned red slightly as Castiel winked at me, signaling that he was just trying to give Lysander and I some time alone.

**Lysander:**

"Look, I told you once, I'll tell you again," Castiel said as he tuned his guitar, "just ask her out already!"

I shook my head,

"Castiel, it's not that simple."

"Yes it is! Geesh, why is it so hard! You like her, she likes you, just ask her out!"

"Castiel, did it even cross your mind that she might say no?"

"No," Castiel said without missing a beat, "Because she _will_ say yes."

"You don't know that for sure."

"And you don't know for sure that she'll say no, so ask her and find out," Castiel huffed.

I shook my head. It just wasn't that simple. Camellia was not like other girls. She had the voice of an angel, manners and modesty, and the way her eyes shined when she was passionate about was very laid back and went with the flow. She never threw a fit about something, even if she didn't like it. She didn't judge had a sense of fashion that I found appealing. I noticed the way she acted more and more- like how she fidgeted with the ring on her finger when she was nervous or zoned out, how she made a cute face when she was confused, or how she fidgeted with her hair when she was annoyed. Not to mention the way her blue hair framed her heart face, her small petite nose, big shining green eyes, soft kissable lips…She was beautiful. She could have any fellow that she wishes- _even that Alexy. _

"Camellia is amazing," I whispered to myself.

"You two are so alike," Castiel huffed, "You're muttering under your breath about her, complimenting her when she's not here and she does the exact same damn thing."

"She does," I asked a bit curious, "She speaks of me?"

"All the time, but don't you think for one second I'll tell you what she says. I may be a dick sometimes, but she does trust me…"

"But of course," I agreed, "She trusts you and you shall break that trust. Understandable."

Sadly, I was a bit disappointed that he couldn't tell me what she thought. What if she thought of me just as a friend? She could easily have any guy, so why would she even settle for me?

"I know that look, Lys," Castiel pointed out, "That's your _I'm not good enough _face, and this time you're not making that face because of your singing. You're thinking about Cami, aren't you? Damn it Lys! You shouldn't be making that face!"

"And what if it was true, Castiel, such matters might not concern you, but they do concern me. Camellia could do much better."

"Damn it Lys, the only guy better than you is me," Castiel smirked, "and she sees me like a brother and I see her as a sister. So face it Lys, in her eyes, it doesn't get any better."

It was odd for Castiel to give such advice, but in a way, I found that I liked it.


	13. Amusing Amusement Park

**Chapter 12- Amusing Amusement Park:**

**Cami (Camellia):**

Well, I did get to go to the amusement park that just opened. The bad news- it wasn't a date. I went with Rosayla, Castiel, and Lysander. All three of them, however, were taking turns pushing me because I was the one with the job of holding all the food, stuffed animals, and everything in between. It wasn't too bad though because hey- I had the cotton candy that I paid for with my own money.

I dressed up for the occasion… Okay actually not really since Rosayla just took me shopping before we left and made me get it for the occasion. So I had on a pale pink handkerchief skirt, a dark gray laced top that had spaghetti straps, and a pale pink pendant on a necklace. I even helped Rosayla pick an outfit- black tiered skirt and a purple fashionable shirt that Leigh made.

I was glad to get a tiny bit 'dolled up', even if my hair was just in a low ponytail because Lysander would be there.

Well, at first Lysander wasn't even there- that was a bummer since that was the reason I allowed Rosayla to drag me here…. That's a lie, I actually just really wanted to check out the new amusement park but I didn't want to seem really eager. I was happy when he eventually showed up after an hour of us walking/wheeling around. It turned out he was late because he was working on a song and the inspiration was _there_ so he had to write until it passed. I was a bit surprised though that like the rest of us, he dressed a bit more casually. Like Castiel, he had on black jeans and a white t-shirt that was a bit tight. Though Lysander's didn't have any signs of stains or use and Lysander's shirt was a button-up and had a black pocket watch on a chain in the breast pocket. Not to mention that Castiel wore a black leather jacket opposed to Lysander's black Victorian-like jacket.

"Hey," I protested as Castiel stole a piece of cotton candy. He smirked,

"Consider it payment for pushing you around."

"The cotton candy was _my_ payment for holding all of _your_ junk!"

Castiel huffed and I continued to look sadly at my cotton candy on a stick that had half of it picked off my my-so-called-awesome-brother.

"If it makes you feel better, I would be happy to buy you a new one," Lysander offered kindly.

My eyes lit up,

"Really?"

"No," Rosayla protested, "Those things are pure sugar! Do you honestly think that _she_ needs more sugar?"

Lysander seemed to be hesitant after Rosayla's outburst. Though did have a point. She was the one that had to deal with me a lot more than the guys when the guys went on rides like that _Tea Cup_ or something. I loved roller coasters and those _bumper cars,_ but I would never set foot in a teacup that spun around so much that I would puke (In case you didn't know, I have rode in them once before and sadly I threw up on my date- long story short, he didn't ask me out again after that). As a result, Rosayla had to deal with me when the guys weren't there so she was the one that had to answer my impatient-six-year-old questions like _'Are they donneee yet,' 'is your hair naturally white,' 'can we get cotton candy again? Pweaseeeee,' 'Rosa, Rosa, Rosa…WHAT… Hi,' _and _'Rosa… I'm boreedddd~.' _Sugar + Me = Impatient six year old.

I gave Lysander my big puppy dog eyes and a pout. He sighed,

"I shall buy you another one."

"Yay!"

Rosayla looked horrified and Castiel laughed. I was smiling like an idiot,

"Thanks Lysander!"

"No thank you's are necessary," Lysander said, "it's my pleasure."

"… And my horror," Rosayla added.

* * *

"CAMI!"

Lysander raised an eyebrow as Haley came running up to me, her blue eyes shining.

"It's this awesome! I'm on a date with Iris and everything!"

Haley was bouncing in excitement. I looked at her amused and Iris stood behind her sheepishly. Both girls were dressed casually. Haley had her blonde hair in a ponytail, jean shorts, and a blue bandeau top. Iris dressed a bit more modestly with jeans and a green t-shirt.

"Hi Cami," Iris said a bit embarrassed.

"Ah I gotta pee," Haley said frantically, "gotta jet!"

She kissed Iris on the cheek and then ran to the restrooms that weren't far since Lysander and I were waiting for Castiel and Rosayla.

"So, first date," I asked.

"Third, actually," Iris chuckled, "She's a riot…. Can I ask you something though?"

"Of course."

"She's your best friend, so you would know… does she really care about me? I mean," Iris turned pink, "It's just she flirts with everything that walks, though not so much on our dates."

"She does care," I said honestly, "Flirting is in her nature, but the fact that she doesn't do it as often when she's on a date with you proves that she's making an effort to control it and stop. Besides, I know Haley and she told me how she's taking it steady with you and trust me- that itself shows that she does have strong feelings towards you."

Iris smiled brightly and hugged me,

"Thanks Cami."

"No problem."

Soon, Haley came out and continued her date with Iris. Lysander looked at me,

"You handled that rather well."

"Thank you, Lysander, but it was the truth. I hope it works out good with them."

* * *

I looked around,

"I think they ditched us," I finally said as Lysander shook his head,

"I wouldn't put it past Rosayla to do so and drag Castiel along."

I nodded in agreement,

"Well, if they ditched us, I highly doubt we're going to find them."

Lysander nodded,

"Too true, perhaps we should just continue to enjoy the amusement park?"

I blushed slightly since that meant that I would alone at the amusement park with Lysander, well not alone since of course there were other people… Still, it would be like a date- at the exact place that I planned on going on a date with him (if I didn't chicken out).

* * *

Lysander and I did continue to enjoy the amusement park until it was dark. We never did find Rosayla or even Castiel. Though, that didn't stop us from having fun. He helped me wheel up the ramps to get to roller coasters, helped me into the carts, and everything so that was pretty nice. We even played a booth game; well I managed to get him to try _one_ booth game. He lost, but it was the thought that counted.

I was a bit surprised, however, when he suggested that we went on the Ferris wheel before we left. He carefully helped me out of my wheelchair and into the cart.

"Watch over that, will you," I asked the conductor, pointing to my wheelchair.

The conductor nodded and then we were off- I was in the cart on the Ferris wheel at night with Lysander Beau-Parleur (Rosayla had told me his last name). I couldn't keep from blushing since I was sitting right beside him with his arm around my shoulder.

"Camellia," Lysander suddenly said.

In a way, I felt like I was in some twisted romantic movie or a novel since I was there stuck on the Ferris wheel at the top at night with my crush. _He'll tell me I'm beautiful, confess his love, and we'll get married in the future- I don't think so buddy. I'm all for romance, but not that. Besides, I may like him, but love is a bit strong and not to be used lightly._

"Camellia, you're a very thoughtful woman."

I blinked in surprise; I was not expecting to be called 'thoughtful.' Lysander smiled,

"You're very intelligent, kind, easy-going. I love the way that you are so gentle and yet not afraid to bite back."

I blushed,

"Lysander, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying everything but the obvious for if we wish to truly compliment someone, we do it not on the physical attributes, but the other little things. Like how I like the way that your eyes shine when you're passionate about something, or the way that you sing with such passion, or the way that you fiddle with your ring when you disconnect yourself from the world."

I was staring at Lysander and I realized that his face was blushing slightly. The words echoed in my head, not entirely processing but enough was going through that I was blushing.

"…And what's the obvious," I asked softly tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.

"That you're beautiful and amazing," Lysander said as he cupped my chin.

"And that I would delighted if… if you were to join me on a date?"

"Lysander, are you asking me out," I asked teasingly, but still blushing.

"But of course."

Then he closed the distance between our lips.


	14. Walking On Sunshine

**Author Note: And thus it is completed. Please review!**

**~CWA**

**(P.S. I think that's a good note to end it on, don't ya?)**

**Chapter 13- Walking On Sunshine:**

**Cami (Camellia):**

After about of five months of Lysander and I dating, I came at peace with Ryder's death. Castiel helped a lot too. I never pictured what Ryder would do or say anymore if he was still alive. Funny story though, I thought I heard Ryder's voice once and it turned out that it was Castiel trying to wake me up when I fell asleep in class. Either way, Lysander and I were still a good couple. We occasionally had small fights, usually it was me that started a fight when I got a bit frustrated with lack of showing feelings, but he worked on showing it more. When he started the fight it was usually from me being too easy-going with other guys flirting with me. Honestly, I wasn't okay with it, but Lysander helped me be more assertive in that area. Despite that, we were still a great couple. I just highly doubted that he would proclaim his undying love any time soon.

"Camellia," Lysander greeted as he came up and kissed me on the cheek.

I knew to a lot of people, Lysander came off a bit cold and silent. Truth was, he was just _calm._ I loved that about him. He did express himself and showed emotion, you just had to know what you were looking for. I noticed the little signs, like when he stopped writing for a moment to listen or stopped whatever he was doing just to listen to me. He was getting better at showing his feelings, and I was grateful for that.

"Hello Lysander," I greeted, "Did the practice go well?"

School just ended a few days ago so it was officially summer. As a result, Lysander and Castiel spent most of their time practicing on their band that I occasionally helped with. I usually was playing the keyboard or singing with Lysander.

"Extremely," Lysander answered smoothly, "In fact, I managed to get us a gig at the club."

The Club, despite its uncreative name, was an extremely popular and well known for every teenager in the area, and even adults. There weren't many alcoholic drinks and in a way it reminded me of _The Bronze _from _Buffy The Vampire Slayer _(Dallas got me into that show a long time ago). Getting to play there wasn't easy though and I know that because Dallas and his band tried and failed at it.

"Really," I said amazed, "That's wonderful Lysander!"

I briefly wondered if in the future that Lysander, Castiel, and I's band would be popular in the future. We were called _Dark Calamity_, though I supposed it was more of Castiel and Lysander's band than mine and theirs. _Dark Calamity_ was doing good and strong though. I recalled that Lysander had mentioned a record dealer being interested before.

* * *

Lysander sang softly as I closed my eyes to listen to him. It was very relaxing to listen to, especially with my head on his chest. We both jumped when the door opened.

"HELLO LOVEBIRDS!"

Lysander was almost as white as the sheets and I was sure that I had the same expression.

"I thought you said that Leigh and Rosayla were going to be gone for the next two days," I whispered to Lysander and he numbly nodded,

"I thought they were…"

Since Leigh and Rosayla were supposed to be gone, I decided to stay the night at Lysander's. We didn't do anything (besides making out). We mostly spent time in his room, on his bed, relaxing and watching movies like _Sweeny Todd_ and _The Raven. _Since I was staying the night, however, I was dressed in my nightgown (which I had to have his help to get into) and he was only in sweat pants.

"Rosayla," I hissed, "What are you doing?"

"I was coming in here to let you guys now that breakfast is ready."

If Rosayla was bothered by the fact that Lysander and I were sharing a bed (and in our PJs), she didn't show it.

"How long have you been home," I finally squeaked out.

"All night," Rosayla winked, "We got home at maybe oh I don't know, midnight? We just didn't bother you guys since we weren't hearing _noises,_" Rosayla giggled.

I turned bright red and so did Lysander. Instantly, I knew that it was easily one of the most embarrassing situations I had ever been in.

**1/2 Month Later:**

I smiled goofily as Lysander carried me into the ocean. I obviously couldn't be in my wheel chair in the sand. Though when Lysander found out that I had never been to the beach and always wanted to, he offered to take me. It was very sweet, of course. A romantic night at the beach during the summer was practically every girl dream. To make it even better, it was our sixth month anniversary- June 10th.

Though I had to be carried literally everywhere to my frustration. Then again, it was Lysander carrying me so it was kind of hard to be stubborn and upset about being carried.

My wheel chair, of course, was safe. I had been in my old wheelchair, not the sturdy one since the older one was more lightweight and could safely fit into Lysander's car. If we were just going to the beach, then I would've considered not bringing the wheelchair at all. However, we weren't just going to go to the beach. Afterwards, we were going to go to the boardwalk, which was why I had a sundress to wear over my bathing suit in Lysander's car.

Lysander carefully let me go once we were in the water, very gently. We weren't in water that was too deep- it only went a bit past Lysander's waist, which would mean that it would've went to maybe halfway between my chest and waist. He kept a sturdy grip on me though.

"This is wonderful," I said with a large smile, "Lysander, this is amazing… Thank you."

"You're welcome," Lysander said with a small smile, "I thought you might enjoy this."

"I do."

We were in the water a bit longer and I enjoyed having my legs just float- not being restrained by gravity. Well, it at least it didn't feel that way. It was like being free. Eventually, we did get out. Lysander carried me bridal style and I had my arms around his strong neck as we made it back to his car.

Once we got to the car, Lysander was able to open the passenger seat to sit me down while he got my wheelchair. As I sat there, I managed to get my sundress and put it on carefully- at least it was over my top half.

As soon as Lysander got the wheelchair out and ready, he helped me into it. I noticed that there were a lot more people out on the streets than I would have thought, so we got a few looks of 'awe.' I didn't pay any mind to them though.

* * *

"Hey Lysander," I said, "Can you get me cotton candy?"

"Camellia, you know how you are with sugar."

"Please," I asked, giving my best puppy dog eyes and pout.

"… Very well."

_Ah never fails._ I waited on the edge of the boardwalk as Lysander went back and to get me some cotton candy from a nearby stand. As he was gone, I looked at the ring on my finger, Ryder's ring. I sang softly,

"_And I find it kind of funny  
I find it kind of sad  
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had…"_

_"'Cause it's true," Ryder would often say, "it's a mad world out there princess and sometimes the dreams in which we escape it our the best…"_

He did say that. He said it quite often. The thing was, it wasn't until I started to move on with my life and enjoy _living_ that I remembered the rest of what my older brother would often say to me.

_"But you shouldn't think like that Princess," Ryder would have continued, "I've messed up too many times and I did a lot of bad things but you have your whole life ahead of you, so you go and live it, even when it gets bad, okay?" _

I used to think that the song was true, that we lived in a mad world and that the dreams in which we left it behind where the best. I looked down at the ring and gently slipped it off my finger. Being with Lysander, and healing with my friends, taught me that it wasn't a mad world and that I had to go and live my life.

I tossed the ring into the ocean, smiling slightly and feeling like a big burden just lifted off my shoulder.

It used to be a mad world. I used to hold onto the past and keep my thoughts in the shadows, in the darkness. I was hurting myself, mentally, but I didn't care since Ryder was gone.

Then Lysander came along and showed me that I don't have to see it that way. He showed me that yeah, bad things did happen to me, but I shouldn't dwell on the past. Lysander showed me the sun again and he taught me to go out and walk/roll on the sunshine.


End file.
